1st place in Derby #277: Caffeine, with 372 votes!
There are so many potential vices in the world over which one must exert self control: Drinking, food, gambling, etc. These are all fine in moderation, but shouldn't be over-indulged in lest they become deleterious to health and happiness.
But can't coffee just be something we drink as much as we want, with no underlying guilt or fear of abuse? COFFEE IS SO DAMN GOOD. The way it flows through your belly and into your veins, making life more vibrant -- more full. It is a peerless beverage.
We can exercise self-control in all other ways. We'll exercise regularly. We'll get plenty of sleep. We'll only try psychoactive drugs in our early 20s. But please, ye physiological gods: Please let coffee just be healthy. Let us drink cup after hot, invigorating cup without fear of future consequence.
Wear this shirt: and spill the appropriate coffee on each character!
Don't wear this shirt: in Seattle. Coffee's serious bidness around these parts.
This shirt tells the world: "I like mine light, sweet, and cute."
We call this color: Cone Silver #2