The Invasion Readiness Shirt

by wootbot


So you’re going to be conquered.


As you welcome your merciless new ruler, be sure to keep a few things in mind:

Did you get the cake? Every despot loves cake.

Make sure your new overlord has a ride home from the airport. Don’t be afraid to splurge a little. Go for the sedan!

Don’t be desperate. There’s a difference between subservience and desperation. It’s a fine line that any good sycophant should understand.

Paper plates! Otherwise you’ll have to eat the cake by hand.

Overlording is hard work! Your new ruler has a busy and stressful job. Offer the occasional massage or human sacrifice. It’s a thoughtful touch that’ll go a long way!

Incorporate tokens from home. It’s likely that your lifelong new commander will feel homesick from time to time. Add a few touches of their past throughout the home and office to help him/her/it/them/glorb feel completely at ease. Souvenirs like postcards, mugs, and bloodied femur bones will give the new master a real sense of belonging. :)

Enjoy your new overseer!