The One Shirt

by wootbot

Anything Can Be A Trilogy

1st place in Derby #271: Shirt as Costume Redux, with 747 votes!

Once you get this shirt costume, it's a shame to let it go to waste on just a couple of hours at a Halloween party. What you want to do is MILK the idea for as much as it's POSSIBLY worth, until only a husk of any original enjoyment you might have derived from it is left. Why not stretch this shirt to cover two people? Or three?

Go a few sizes big on this shirt and invite a friend to share your costume. Heck, invite another friend in and make it a trilogy! Don't let anybody tell you that there's barely enough material here for one costume, nevermind three. It worked for that Harry Potter shirt costume you did last year. It will definitely work for this!

The other trick is to make sure you stay at each Halloween party you visit for at least three hours. You might start to feel like you should start wrapping things up about an hour and a half in, but NO: Keep going. Use an overwrought, faux-British accent when communicating with other partygoers, and make sure the pacing remains stilted.

No matter what you do, it will turn out much better than that travesty of a King Kong costume you did a couple years back.

Wear this shirt: and take it back to where it was forged so you can DESTROY it (Honduras).

Don't wear this shirt: around anyone who got stuck with those crappy seven rings given to dwarf-lords in their hall of stone.

This shirt tells the world: "I don't end up coming across as very strong-willed in the third act."

We call this color: Radagast The Brown.