Unstealthiest Ninja: When Animals Attack

by wootbot

Times Change

Remember when we all thought it was funny to watch a skunk sexually assault a cat? 

"Do you solemnly swear or affirm that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"Ehhh. Oui." 

"In English please, Mr. Le Pew."

"Ehhh. Yes." 

"Mr. Lew Pew, where were you the afternoon of June 12th?" 

"I was, eh, enjoying the coffee at a fine cafe." 

"And did you see anything that caught your eye while you sat there?" 

"Sacrebleu! I saw the most beautiful female eskunk." 

"Let the record state that Mr. Le Pew saw a beautiful female skunk. And were you aware at the time that the "skunk" in question was actually a black female cat who had recently passed through a construction area, leaving white paint on her coat?" 

"Non!" 

"English, please." 

"No." 

"What happened next?" 

"Ehh, what do you think 'appened? I chased the beautiful eskunk to romance 'er." 

"And did the female resist your attempts?" 

"Oui, she was a feisty one! She wriggled and fought against mon manly embrace." 

"And yet you continued to solicit her sexually?" 

"But of course! No female can resist!" 

"Yet she did resist." 

"She was playing, ehhh  -- how to say? -- 'ard to get, no? She was dressed as beautiful female eskunk, what did she expect?" 

"The prosecution rests, your honor."