Victory through Chaos

by wootbot

Do The Mash

When in doubt: Push all the buttons. 

"I'm bored. Let's play a video game."

"You ever played 'Tsotiki's Fun Party'?"

"No, but I'll give it a shot. How's it work?"

"It's a party game, so there are a bunch of little mini-games. Each one is different."

{WELCOME, NOBLE TRAVELER. TSOTIKI TO PARTY}

"Looks great so far."

{HEAD TO HEAD MODE. WHO IS PARTY MAVEN?}

"All right, so in each game you'll have to figure out quickly how it works and try to beat me."

"How will I know --"

{FLIGHT OF THE MAGPIE. GO!}

"Ummmm. OK. I'm hitting all the buttons, why isn't my magpie flying?"

"No, I think you're controlling the air currents upon which the magpie soars."

{PLAYER 1 WINS}

"Aw man, I have no idea what just happened."

"Don't worry. You'll pick it up."

{THE LOST DECADE. GO}

"What the--?"

"Oh yeah, in this one you have to rescue the Japanese economy from the post-bubble malaise of the 1990s."

"Huh?"

"Well, it's a pretty standard liquidity trap in which banks and corporations refuse to spend.."

"What do I do?"

"Hit the Keynesian button for a stimulus!"

"Where's the Keynesian button?"

"Oh, it's on the back, near your thumb--"

{PLAYER 1 WINS}

"Dangit!"

"Looks like you're stuck with slow GDP growth. Sorry brah."