"All right, let's take a look at your foot. Oooooo. That's gotta sting."
"Sure does, doc. My kid's going to pick up his toys when he's done with them from now on, let me tell you THAT."
"I hear ya. All right, well we're just going to pull it out, bandage it up, and you should be all set."
"OK, but what about my knees?"
"Oh, I thought it was just your foot. What's wrong with your knees?"
"Here, let me show you..."
"Yeah. After I stepped on the pointy block, I fell down onto my knees and landed on my son's toy soldiers. I knew I shouldn't have bought him all those men holding bayonets skyward."
"Ouch. Well, we'll go ahead and yank those out. It might sting but you should be all right."
"Great. But what about my thorax?"
"Yeah, the pain from my knees was so intense that I writhed on the floor for awhile, and punctured my thorax repeatedly on my daughter's play castle."
"Oh. Well, in that case you're going to die."
"I see. Will I still be charged for this visit?"
Wear this shirt: quickly, before it vanishes into the Reddit mists!
Don't wear this shirt: in Denmark, or you'll be harangued by the Danish Toy Block Safety Commission.
This shirt tells the world: "Yes, that experience does suck."
We call this color: Red In Hoof And Claw