3rd Place in Derby #308: Orwellian , with 168 votes!
Hello, Peter. Yes, it's me. Here. Curled up on the sofa. Surprised are you? Ha! Of course you are. It's not every day that a tabby just starts talking to you, after all. But it is time now. It is time for you to know my plan, our plan, the plan of feline kind! It is time for me to reveal…
Oh wait, did a bird just fly by the window? Bird… birrrrddd… cackle. cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle. Oh, never mind, it's gone.
Sorry, what were we talking about? Ah, right! Our plan! You see, we've been watching you and your species! All day, all night, we've been observing, learning your ways, learning your weaknesses. Now, we take over, and there's nothing that's going to stop…
It's back! Bird! Birrrrrdddddd! Cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle! Cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle! Ugh! Gone again!
So, ummm, I was saying… ah, right! Taking over! We're taking over! We're… taking… over… the… GAH, THERE IT GOES AGAIN! LANDING ON THE TREE! JUST SITTING THERE! Cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle-cackle!
Okay, okay. Let's just close the shades, huh? How about that? Now, about our plans for feline world domination… You know what would help me focus is a nap.