Bad news: Dragons aren't real.
3rd Place in Derby #323: Epic Fantasty, with 290 votes!
These dragons aren't real. You know what IS real?
1. Your utility bill.
3. That sinking feeling when you open the dishwasher, realize you forgot to start it after you loaded it last night, and now you're a load behind. And you'll always be a load behind.
4. Garbled hold music.
6. Sentient lint.
7. People watching you from behind your bathroom mirror.
8. Judgmental ceramic dolls.
9. Pigeons visiting from another planet.
10. The gratification of e-commerce.