Wizard of "Aw"s

by wootbot

Toto Recall

1st Place in Derby #300: What makes me different, with 317 votes!

"Who killed my sister? Who killed the Witch of the East? Was it you??" 

"Whoa whoa whoa. Hold on. What is happening?" 

"You killed my sister, my pretty!" 

"All right. Let's back up a second. First off…OK, I don't even know if there is a first off. But I've got a few questions."

"What about the ruby slippers?" 

"Glinda, lady, I just met you and I like you so far, but let's take this one step at a time. Why is everybody dressed like an idiot?" 

"Why, because this is Oz, my dear." 

"What I'm going to need you to do is answer a question in such a way that it doesn't create several more questions. What kind of name is Glinda, anyway?" 

"Well, it was 'Galinda', but then I had it changed in honor of Doctor Dillamond, who was a martyred goat…" 

"I'm going to stop you at 'martyred goat,' because, again, I just need some basic answers. Am I in Kansas?" 

"No." 

"Missouri?" 

"No." 

"Nebraska?"

"No."  

"Oklahoma?"

"No." 

"Well, I think that's all the neighboring states, so I'm going to call B.S. on you." 

"What about Colorado?"

"Colorado doesn't border Kansas, wicked witch lady." 

"Yes it does! I lived in La Junta after grad school. It's near the border." 

"Huh. Well. This has been an odd writeup."