Beer It Is!
1st Place in Derby #353: Galactic Battles, with 263 votes!
Okay, boss. We've got bad news and good news.
The bad news: we got the wrong robot. I know you wanted strictly bots that beep or speak inexplicably in British accents, but we flubbed up. You see, we thought this one was British, but it turns out he was just slurring his words after having a little bit too much to drink.
What's his primary function? I'm not totally sure, but if I had to wager a guess, I'd say he's mostly built to berate those around him and feel sorry for himself. Yeah, the auction's not going to go super great with this one.
But the good news: with all the booze we found flowing through his mainframe, we should be able to supply the local bar for, by my calculations, about seven months. So, cheers to that, at least.