Derby #55b: Derbylympics, 2nd Event - Oxymorons

Hey, this Derby's over. When you're finished reliving past glories, check out what's going on in the Derby right now. It's probably even cooler. Or at least newer.

On to the second leg of Shirt.Woot's three-part Derbylympics! This is very different from the regular Derbies, so read the explanation carefully.

Come with us now on a voyage of exploration. Destination: the idiomatic Bizarro World of oxymorons, those contradictions in terms wherein what the adjective giveth, the noun taketh away. You know all the obvious ones: military intelligence, jumbo shrimp, SmartPost service. Wrangle one of these impossibilities, wrestle it to the ground, and show us what it looks like. Incidental text is allowed for this event.

This event opens for submissions and voting Sunday at noon, and closes on Tuesday at noon, when the second Derbylympics event will open. Only the one shirt from each event with the most votes will be printed. Confused? You didn't read the explanation carefully, did you?

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