Derby #189: Woodland Animals
+27

Manhunt

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amh


quality posts: 2 Private Messages amh
Re: Manhunt


Fashioned as an old newspaper tongue-in-cheek illustration, this 1 color design will look dandy on ladies and gentlemen as it is understated, yet intriguing up-close.It has been designed to have details as to amuse you for a while. The cute and funny illustration reverses the traditional role of man and woodland animals; it begs the question: What if they were the ones hunting mankind? (insert Hitchcock style suspense track here...)

awlwren


quality posts: 3 Private Messages awlwren
Re: Manhunt


Okay, while I like the concept, and the cross-hatch style, there's a lot that bugs me about this shirt. For instance, who is holding the...gun behind the rabbit's head? The perspective is a bit wonky, making the owl's head look flat, the chipmunk amputated, and the cartridges look like they should roll off that stump. If you just shift the owl over a bit, you could see the...elk? much better. The shirt is also very dark, which doesn't help clarity issues. That might be the style you're going for, but it's a detractor for me.

The guns could also use a bit more work. The stocks are solid, and I thank you for remembering them and what looks like maybe a system for breech loading, but that's as good as it gets. I understand the urge to stylize that prompted the unnaturally extreme flaring of the guns themselves, but that doesn't excuse the way the rabbit's gun is crooked, or the utter disregard for gun safety - the chipmunk looks suicidal, and I don't even know what's going on with the gun on the ground.

Also, on a completely pedantic note, while an "f"-like letter was commonly used as an "s" in old documents, it was not fully crossed and never used as a final letter.

I say all this not to beat you into the ground, but because I really do like the concept, and you seem to have a feel for using hatches to create texture and depth. The rabbit, for example, is amazing, as is all the fur - that's part of what makes me regret so much not being able to see the other animals clearly. I've seen you do some awesome art, but this just... the composition of the shot sabotages the concept.

amh


quality posts: 2 Private Messages amh
awlwren wrote:Okay, while I like the concept, and the cross-hatch style, there's a lot that bugs me about this shirt. For instance, who is holding the...gun behind the rabbit's head? The perspective is a bit wonky, making the owl's head look flat, the chipmunk amputated, and the cartridges look like they should roll off that stump. If you just shift the owl over a bit, you could see the...elk? much better. The shirt is also very dark, which doesn't help clarity issues. That might be the style you're going for, but it's a detractor for me.

The guns could also use a bit more work. The stocks are solid, and I thank you for remembering them and what looks like maybe a system for breech loading, but that's as good as it gets. I understand the urge to stylize that prompted the unnaturally extreme flaring of the guns themselves, but that doesn't excuse the way the rabbit's gun is crooked, or the utter disregard for gun safety - the chipmunk looks suicidal, and I don't even know what's going on with the gun on the ground.

Also, on a completely pedantic note, while an "f"-like letter was commonly used as an "s" in old documents, it was not fully crossed and never used as a final letter.

I say all this not to beat you into the ground, but because I really do like the concept, and you seem to have a feel for using hatches to create texture and depth. The rabbit, for example, is amazing, as is all the fur - that's part of what makes me regret so much not being able to see the other animals clearly. I've seen you do some awesome art, but this just... the composition of the shot sabotages the concept.


awlwren, I'm sorry you did not like this submission

It seems I missed the mark this time, as I have received several similar comments. Except for the "f" like letter, as I got those words one by-one as they were written in the New England journal, Monday, April 8, 1728. (Though maybe they made the mistake?)

Either way, I take your criticism as constructive and I'll try to keep in mind the points you made for future designs.

Per your comment, I have decided to submit another entry to this derby for fun, despite very slim chances of wining.

awlwren


quality posts: 3 Private Messages awlwren
amh wrote:awlwren, I'm sorry you did not like this submission

It seems I missed the mark this time, as I have received several similar comments. Except for the "f" like letter, as I got those words one by-one as they were written in the New England journal, Monday, April 8, 1728. (Though maybe they made the mistake?)

Either way, I take your criticism as constructive and I'll try to keep in mind the points you made for future designs.

Per your comment, I have decided to submit another entry to this derby for fun, despite very slim chances of wining.


Ah, I stand corrected on the usage of the long "s", then.

Please take this in the spirit it was intended - as constructive. I really think you have done some great work, and wish you the best of luck in your other design. And this one does seem to be getting some votes, so I'm glad that it's working for some people.

paigeg


quality posts: 7 Private Messages paigeg
Re: Manhunt


Yes, I think the composition is a bit wonky, but the illo is otherwise appealing - fun and funky. But, Woot doesn't have a charcoal shirt color... Asphalt?

amh


quality posts: 2 Private Messages amh
paigeg wrote:Yes, I think the composition is a bit wonky, but the illo is otherwise appealing - fun and funky. But, Woot doesn't have a charcoal shirt color... Asphalt?


Oops! yes, Asphalt :p
This is not my derby it seems...

amh


quality posts: 2 Private Messages amh
amh wrote:Oops! yes, Asphalt :p
This is not my derby it seems...


Here is my new submission for this derby:

http://shirt.woot.com/Derby/Entry.aspx?id=50681

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