Derby #193: Catchy Slogans for Everyday Products
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Raisins Ruin Everything

Raisins Ruin Everything
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joemail11


quality posts: 34 Private Messages joemail11
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I recently was subjected to a raisin-chocolate-chip cookie that I didn't notice until too late. This shirt is truth.

ciaranannrach


quality posts: 3 Private Messages ciaranannrach
joemail11 wrote:I recently was subjected to a raisin-chocolate-chip cookie that I didn't notice until too late. This shirt is truth.


This is 100% my father. Rasin cookies are the bane of his existence. Once, my mother made a full batch or two of chocolate chip cookies, and only three rasin cookies. Somehow, my father managed to get two of those three cookies instead of the chocolate chip cookie he wanted.

We still tease him to this day about it. If this prints, I'll make sure one of these shirts is ordered for him.

awcoburn


quality posts: 0 Private Messages awcoburn
joemail11 wrote:I recently was subjected to a raisin-chocolate-chip cookie that I didn't notice until too late. This shirt is truth.


This shirt is indeed truth. The horrors I had to endure as a child with a father that put raisins in EVERYTHING!

Spiritgreen


quality posts: 223 Private Messages Spiritgreen
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


This one.

I know we're spoiled for choice this week, but this one is the one. Good luck Boots. ^_^

sacrerouge


quality posts: 18 Private Messages sacrerouge
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


As a small child I used to pick the raisins out of my bowl of raisin bran (if no other cereal was available), and put them back in the box so my brother would be stuck eating them. If this wins I'm in for two. One for me, because raisins are awful, and one for him, because I am a terrible sibling

nevetnod


quality posts: 2 Private Messages nevetnod
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Very nice, but there's a typo... it should say "Raisins are awesome." Cuz they so are.

I like celery.

BootsBoots


quality posts: 38 Private Messages BootsBoots
nevetnod wrote:Very nice, but there's a typo... it should say "Raisins are awesome." Cuz they so are.


Get out of here, Raisin-Lover. We don't take kindly to people like you 'round here. ;)


omnitarian


quality posts: 15 Private Messages omnitarian
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


This must print.

Josephus


quality posts: 25 Private Messages Josephus
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


in college, they used to put raisin cookies right with the chocolate chip cookies, just to trick us. grr.

BootsBoots


quality posts: 38 Private Messages BootsBoots
Josephus wrote:in college, they used to put raisin cookies right with the chocolate chip cookies, just to trick us. grr.


Such cruelty!


tgentry


quality posts: 111 Private Messages tgentry

Staff

Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


In a show of solidarity to the Pro-Raisin community, I'm going to get a nice, delicious oatmeal raisin cookie from the bakery today. You only inspire us to fight harder for what we know is right!

jasneko


quality posts: 30 Private Messages jasneko
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything

Heh, very nice. I actually like raisins on their own or in a trail mix combo with nuts or something, but I dont like them them in cookies, breads, rices and basically any cooked dish. Baffling! I guess I either don't like cooked raisins, or don't think they taste good combined with most other foods?;)


BootsBoots


quality posts: 38 Private Messages BootsBoots
tgentry wrote:In a show of solidarity to the Pro-Raisin community, I'm going to get a nice, delicious oatmeal raisin cookie from the bakery today. You only inspire us to fight harder for what we know is right!


I hope you shrivel up and die (like that which you love so much)!


illuminator


quality posts: 0 Private Messages illuminator
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Epic! The life memories, the cookies, the HUMANITY!!!

jmmbell1987


quality posts: 78 Private Messages jmmbell1987

You raisin haters make this world a sad, bitter, hate-filled place. D:

On the plus side, more delicious Raisin Bran Crunch, raisin oatmeal cookies and bread pudding with lots and lots of raisins for me. :D

thewronggrape


quality posts: 49 Private Messages thewronggrape
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I always want extra raisins in my raisin bran but once I tried raisins in my yogurt from my local froyo place... horrible idea. They quickly get hard as pebbles and ruin the entire experience!

chumpmagic


quality posts: 9 Private Messages chumpmagic
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I completely agree with this shirt!


profbrendan


quality posts: 7 Private Messages profbrendan
tgentry wrote:In a show of solidarity to the Pro-Raisin community, I'm going to get a nice, delicious oatmeal raisin cookie from the bakery today. You only inspire us to fight harder for what we know is right!

I was unaware that you had no taste buds. There's no other possible explanation.

Raisins stink.

But this shirt rules. Nice job, Boots!

CapSea


quality posts: 54 Private Messages CapSea
BootsBoots wrote:Get out of here, Raisin-Lover. We don't take kindly to people like you 'round here. ;)


Sounds like you're a Raisist.

bassanimation


quality posts: 98 Private Messages bassanimation
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


WANT. <-HATE RAISINS ffuuuuu! It's always super sadface time to snatch up a tasty looking cookie or bar and bite into it to find these hideous little boogers.

Also, Rat Fact #345: rat turds are commonly referred to as 'raisins'. :P

FB'd this for my ratty peeps. I think they will get a real kick out of it :D Good luck Boots!

zekecatz


quality posts: 202 Private Messages zekecatz
joemail11 wrote:I recently was subjected to a raisin-chocolate-chip cookie that I didn't notice until too late. This shirt is truth.


Everyone knows raisins go in oatmeal cookies, not chocolate chip.

saraseven


quality posts: 0 Private Messages saraseven
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


My mom makes the best oatmeal raisin cookies that are ruined by...raisins.

midgerock


quality posts: 6 Private Messages midgerock
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything



the absolute-ness of the statement is what cracks me up! I like raisin cookies but the shirt is so absurd I love it! gmv!

220clothing


quality posts: 0 Private Messages 220clothing
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


This one made me laugh out loud because it IS so true... With one exception: Raisinettes -only because they're smothered in chocolate and I KNOW that they're there. It's when they catch me off guard that makes me cringe.

endangeredomega


quality posts: 37 Private Messages endangeredomega
bassanimation wrote:

Also, Rat Fact #345: rat turds are commonly referred to as 'raisins'. :P



Reminds me of when I was a kid. I had a pet rabbit that wouldn't touch carrots, but for some reason *loved* to eat raisins. My mother felt inspired to come up with a little song: "Raisins in, raisins out."

Earlysong


quality posts: 21 Private Messages Earlysong
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I had no idea I was not alone in this!

I often say to my friends that biting into a cookie only to discover there are raisins instead of chocolate chips is one of the most tragic things ever. I'm glad other people feel the same way!

+1

I love this website! ^^

Nekkochan


quality posts: 4 Private Messages Nekkochan
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I know this is being silly, but I look at all those crumbs and the two raisins sitting by themselves, and then I look at the teeny bite taken out of the cookie, and I think, "where did all those crumbs come from?" Unless it's meant to suggest someone took a bite & spit the whole thing back out, I guess... but even then it seems like too much material...

But it's a very funny shirt.

jmmbell1987


quality posts: 78 Private Messages jmmbell1987
profbrendan wrote:I was unaware that you had no taste buds. There's no other possible explanation.

Raisins stink.


You are evil. That is the only possible explanation.

sTyLeS


quality posts: 9 Private Messages sTyLeS
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I like raisins. Yet I also like this shirt.
I feel very confused at the moment... Please, I need some time to myself...

jmmbell1987


quality posts: 78 Private Messages jmmbell1987
saraseven wrote:My mom makes the best oatmeal raisin cookies that are ruined by...raisins.



Oatmeal cookies without raisins are like cereal without milk.

I had no idea I was a raisin activist until today.

jwaal


quality posts: 25 Private Messages jwaal

I think I win for the worst raisin idea ever. While at university, I one day decided to combine all my favorite foods together in an omelet. So I made a cheese, peanut, granola, and raisin omelet. Bad idea!

haxrox


quality posts: 10 Private Messages haxrox

I agree whole-heartedly with the sentiments, and the execution is, as always, oven-fresh, but I think the joke has already been done on a shirt at threadless:
http://www.threadless.com/product/964/Stupid_raisins_stay_out_of_my_cookies

fishbiscuit5


quality posts: 39 Private Messages fishbiscuit5
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Raisin lovers of the world unite and make it your mission to convert all the raisin haters into raisin worshipping, lovers of all things sun-pruned! (I'm still voting for the shirt. Don't tell anyone.)







CindyToo


quality posts: 1 Private Messages CindyToo
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


The truest statement I have ever seen on a shirt. :D

kevlar51


quality posts: 47 Private Messages kevlar51
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


screw raisins.

bluetuba


quality posts: 58 Private Messages bluetuba
haxrox wrote:I agree whole-heartedly with the sentiments, and the execution is, as always, oven-fresh, but I think the joke has already been done on a shirt at threadless:
http://www.threadless.com/product/964/Stupid_raisins_stay_out_of_my_cookies


I don't think so, I think Bootsie's raisin hate is more broad than just cookies. Yeah her's has a cookie on it, but the cookie isn't the entirety of the joke.

I'm firmly anti-raisin, there is no food that isn't better WITHOUT the raisins!

"You can't just dress a Minion like Spock, and add a caption that says "Logical Me". There's a prison for people like that. Below my house."

tantris


quality posts: 1 Private Messages tantris
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I like raisins, but I know people who aren't open to raisin and would b buy this for them.

Come on people, grapes are fruit and raisins are just grapes. Mummified grapes, but grapes.

maraich


quality posts: 3 Private Messages maraich
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Oh, I so hope this wins. My friend and I loath raisins. They can turn any perfectly good cookie or quick bread into and inedible pile of refuse.

BaldBob007


quality posts: 1 Private Messages BaldBob007
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I support this message. I will wear this shirt everywhere to spread the word.

ambergreen


quality posts: 11 Private Messages ambergreen
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


This will win, and my husband will be able to be a poor influence on my child's eating habits both verbally and visually.

HalfWheat


quality posts: 18 Private Messages HalfWheat
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Worst raisin experience ever was finding raisins in the meatballs that went with the spaghetti. Blech. No. Just no. I still shudder just thinking about it.

Senorvandal


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Senorvandal
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


So many good shirts this derby, but this is the truth plain and simple. I don't think any food has been made better by the addition of raisins, only worse. Oatmeal cookies, good... oatmeal cookies with raisins, awful. Chocolate, awesome, chocolate with raisins, a disaster... could go on and on :/

NameyMcName


quality posts: 10 Private Messages NameyMcName
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I don't mind raisins. What's much worse is biting into something and realizing it's been ruined by walnuts.

crazy4books


quality posts: 0 Private Messages crazy4books
saraseven wrote:My mom makes the best oatmeal raisin cookies that are ruined by...raisins.


Try soaking the raisins in rum first. Yum.

specsmachine


quality posts: 31 Private Messages specsmachine
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Hells-to-the-yes!

AlexIAm


quality posts: 3 Private Messages AlexIAm
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


The comments in this thread prove once again how highly intelligent the woot community is. Raisins are icky. Dried cherries, cranberries, apricots, anything but raisins are fine.

I have an awesome oatmeal cookie recipe made all the more awesome because I substitute chocolate chips for the raisins.

>insert funny quote here<

birdsaredinosaurs


quality posts: 0 Private Messages birdsaredinosaurs

What the heck? How can people hate raisins so much? They're like tiny chewy candies!

That said, I do hate the raisin/chocolate chip mixup when it comes to cookies. When bakers get lazy and can't be bothered to use labels or even put cookies in different piles, hearts get broken.

profbrendan


quality posts: 7 Private Messages profbrendan
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything

I have raisin to believe this shirt will do extremely well this derby.

*rimshot*

zaynne


quality posts: 0 Private Messages zaynne
AlexIAm wrote:The comments in this thread prove once again how highly intelligent the woot community is. Raisins are icky. Dried cherries, cranberries, apricots, anything but raisins are fine.

I have an awesome oatmeal cookie recipe made all the more awesome because I substitute chocolate chips for the raisins.


Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are my favorite! You rule.

tomsman


quality posts: 2 Private Messages tomsman
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


One more gargleblaster! I laugh/barked so hard when I saw this that my dogs came running to see what was wrong! I LOVE this design! There are so many great ones this derby. This is awesome.

Looking for MXLs Alien Sonogram, Tin: Old Skool, Puppet Checkup and Flesh Wound from Teefury; A Wicked Mess, F5 Refreshes You, and Sissy Fight. PM or teetrade (tomsman)for trade or sell.

PixelPants


quality posts: 69 Private Messages PixelPants
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I'm the one in my family who hates being ambushed by raisins in perfectly good food. Thanks for taking a stand boots.

icymallard


quality posts: 4 Private Messages icymallard
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I like raisins.

smklung


quality posts: 9 Private Messages smklung
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Dunno if I could wear this around, but it is so hilariously true!

Belecthor


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Belecthor

BootsBoots


quality posts: 38 Private Messages BootsBoots
Belecthor wrote:I love it. Reminds me of this comic, which I find hilarious: http://files.sharenator.com/raisin_cookies_More_Rage_Comics-s640x850-68233-580.png


That's awesome!

Thanks everyone for the anti-raisin support. Those who are pro-raisin are such weirdos. You guys probably put ketchup on your eggs too. And you probably spell it "catsup." Weirdos! ;)


Rhonwyn22


quality posts: 4 Private Messages Rhonwyn22
BootsBoots wrote:That's awesome!

Thanks everyone for the anti-raisin support. Those who are pro-raisin are such weirdos. You guys probably put ketchup on your eggs too. And you probably spell it "catsup." Weirdos! ;)


You speak the truth!

studio1172


quality posts: 0 Private Messages studio1172
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Boots, I have to disagree about raisins. My grandmother use to make oatmeal raisin cookies that would make you slap yourself for the taste explosion that was going on in your mouth. True story, my sister and I would slap each other unconscious while eating them.....well, not that true of a story.

BootsBoots


quality posts: 38 Private Messages BootsBoots
studio1172 wrote:Boots, I have to disagree about raisins. My grandmother use to make oatmeal raisin cookies that would make you slap yourself for the taste explosion that was going on in your mouth. True story, my sister and I would slap each other unconscious while eating them.....well, not that true of a story.


Your grandmother must be a witch.


profbrendan


quality posts: 7 Private Messages profbrendan
BootsBoots wrote:That's awesome!

Thanks everyone for the anti-raisin support. Those who are pro-raisin are such weirdos. You guys probably put ketchup on your eggs too. And you probably spell it "catsup." Weirdos! ;)

Oh crap, I put ketchup on my eggs. Or sometimes hot sauce. Don't kick me out of the anti-raisin camp!

Nekkochan


quality posts: 4 Private Messages Nekkochan
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I'm not such a huge raisin fan, but it sounds to me like a lot of the people commenting have come to hate raisins simply because whoever's been making their baked goods doesn't have the sense to soak the raisins in a little hot water for 10 minutes before adding them to the recipe.

odysseyroc


quality posts: 33 Private Messages odysseyroc
Nekkochan wrote:I'm not such a huge raisin fan, but it sounds to me like a lot of the people commenting have come to hate raisins simply because whoever's been making their baked goods doesn't have the sense to soak the raisins in a little hot water for 10 minutes before adding them to the recipe.


or rum





Mavyn


quality posts: 22 Private Messages Mavyn
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Allergies are the reason for my raisinist behavior.

In recipes, I replace raisins with dried cherries.

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

uniique


quality posts: 2 Private Messages uniique
Mavyn wrote:Allergies are the reason for my raisinist behavior.

In recipes, I replace raisins with dried cherries.


oomph. my allergies are killing me last 2 days.

Mavyn


quality posts: 22 Private Messages Mavyn
uniique wrote:oomph. my allergies are killing me last 2 days.


Seasonal allergies are bugging me too, but the raisin thing...well, that's a 'stop breathing' kind of reaction. So literally, killers!

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

citizencoyote


quality posts: 42 Private Messages citizencoyote
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


My father loved raisin cookies. As a kid I hated them because I'd see a freshly baked plate of cookies with dark spots and think I'd hit the chocolate chip cookie goldmine only to find out instead it was lead. So voted.

kaseyfleming


quality posts: 1 Private Messages kaseyfleming
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


so true. GMV. HATE RAISINS!!!

rayray099


quality posts: 6 Private Messages rayray099
jmmbell1987 wrote:
I had no idea I was a raisin activist until today.


hahaha, same here.
awesome shirt, still.

sumwah


quality posts: 0 Private Messages sumwah
jmmbell1987 wrote:Oatmeal cookies without raisins are like cereal without milk.

I had no idea I was a raisin activist until today.


I think that's the only way I can justify voting for and wearing this shirt, which I feel compelled to do.

The oatmeal raisin cookie is the king of cookies. It's the only thing that can redeem cinnamon. Wearing this shirt might be dishonest, but it galvanizes the opposing camps.

capsfanbryce


quality posts: 4 Private Messages capsfanbryce
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I actually like Raisins, that being said...awesome design! Upvoted!

doomedinblue


quality posts: 0 Private Messages doomedinblue

Raisins are gross and I need this shirt.

I make my oatmeal cookies with dark chocolate chips and dried diced cherries.

janoulle


quality posts: 0 Private Messages janoulle
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


This shirt is all kinds of awesome. I've always tolerated raisins, but I finally feel free to express my deep disdain for those little buggers.

janolin


quality posts: 0 Private Messages janolin
joemail11 wrote:I recently was subjected to a raisin-chocolate-chip cookie that I didn't notice until too late. This shirt is truth.


If someone offers me food suspected of having raisins in it the conversation kinda goes like this:

"There aren't any raisins in that are there?"

"Why? Are you allergic to raisins?"

"Yes, yes I am. Whenever I eat them they make me VOMIT!"


The raisin revolution will not be televised.

DoublEE


quality posts: 8 Private Messages DoublEE
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I feel so validated! I thought I was the only one that thought this. I love it!!!

ChefRAZ


quality posts: 20 Private Messages ChefRAZ
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


take from a chef. these words she speaks are true.raisin have been mucking up the world of pastries for too too long now. lets all take to the streets with fire and forks, kill all the raisins. kill emmmmm!!!

BootsBoots


quality posts: 38 Private Messages BootsBoots
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


I am so elated by all of this anti-raisin support. We're really taking back the cookies, aren't we? Yeah!


walmazan


quality posts: 65 Private Messages walmazan
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Go boots! all my support! +1

bassanimation


quality posts: 98 Private Messages bassanimation
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Favorite in the whole derby! Still rooting for you, Boots! Down with the horrible turdlinger fruits!!!

laughtrack


quality posts: 0 Private Messages laughtrack
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything

When this prints, it'll be my third royal blue, cookie-related, Woot shirt. And I'm fine with that.

backerson


quality posts: 0 Private Messages backerson
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Has my vote!

moviewatcher


quality posts: 1 Private Messages moviewatcher
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


Nice design, unambiguous message. Good luck.

However... has anyone else noticed that the people who don't seem to be able to tell the difference visually between a raisin cookie and a chocolate chip cookie are all raisin haters? I suggest their lowered mental skills in this area are due to the lack of raisins in their diet.

Discuss...

alposnacks


quality posts: 2 Private Messages alposnacks

I require this shirt. REQUIRE.

MachineAmbition


quality posts: 0 Private Messages MachineAmbition
Re: Raisins Ruin Everything


So how does this slogan promote the product?

cleverett


quality posts: 29 Private Messages cleverett
moviewatcher wrote:Nice design, unambiguous message. Good luck.

However... has anyone else noticed that the people who don't seem to be able to tell the difference visually between a raisin cookie and a chocolate chip cookie are all raisin haters? I suggest their lowered mental skills in this area are due to the lack of raisins in their diet.

Discuss...


Many years ago I worked in an office that had a candy dish on the receptionist's desk. The dish was emptied several times a day by the employees, at which point it would be refilled with a random selection from many types of candy. One day I grabbed a handful of Skittles and dropped them into my shirt pocket, then went on about my day. Every few minutes I'd toss a Skittle into my mouth without thinking much about it. Eventually I hit one that was so foul that I almost spit it out in front of my coworkers. Turns out it was a stray M&M that was left in the dish from earlier in the day, and it was stealthily hiding amongst the Skittles. I actually like M&M's, but when you're expecting a Skittle and you get chocolate, it's revolting. (The totally wrong texture didn't help, either...instead of a waxy, hard-to-chew substance, the M&M cracked like an egg and flooded my mouth with creamy chocolate.)

Which brings me to my point: When you think you're putting one thing into your mouth and you get something else, it's a huge shock. You don't know what it is that you just ate, because your brain is focused on tasting one thing and then it gets something else. Yuck! And the more times you've expected chocolate and gotten raisins, the larger the aversion you would have to raisins. No wonder these people are protesting for raisins to be outlawed!

However, I do have to wonder why these raisin-haters can't distinguish the difference between a raisin and a chocolate chip. I may have been fooled by a stray M&M in a bowl of Skittles (though to be fair I never even really looked at what I was munching on), but I've never once been suckered into eating a raisin cookie thinking that it was a chocolate chip cookie; chocolate chips just do not look like raisins. Especially after having been burned countless times, apparently (as is evidenced by their rabid revulsion to raisin cookies), shouldn't some sort of self-preservation system in the brain kick in when they see a chocolate chip cookie? Shouldn't there be some intense scrutiny before they take a bite?

My theory is that these people are amongst the most extreme of chocoholics, and that their intense cacao addiction sends their brain into such a tizzy at the sight of a bespeckled cookie that it simply can't process any further visual input. While the rest of us can glance at the cookie and easily determine the not-so-secret ingredient, their sudden euphoria at scoring a fix prevents them from doing so. 0.3 seconds later, the cookie has entered their mouth...and what happens next isn't very pretty.

Of course, it's just a working theory; I haven't actually acquired the funding to conduct a double-blind study yet. Nor have I figured out how to lure this group of people into said study. I'm afraid that mentioning the word "raisin" would be a deal-breaker, and I'm worried about the ethics of not mentioning the word. I'm also quite worried about my safety.

In any case, here's hoping that this shirt will print so that these poor afflicted individuals can buy one. Perhaps seeing the slogan often enough will reprogram their synaptic responses just enough that they can avoid these unfortunate incidents. Or maybe the design will educate those around them of their plight, so that they might take pity and let them know that "hey, those are raisins." Of course, it might also lead to people putting out plates of raisin cookies in a twisted effort to get some great video for YouTube. After all, some people are just sociopaths.

cleverett


quality posts: 29 Private Messages cleverett
MachineAmbition wrote:So how does this slogan promote the product?


I think that you either like raisins or you don't. "Raisins Ruin Everything" isn't going to change your mind, but it will sure get people talking about raisins. (Just look at this thread for proof.) There's no such thing as bad publicity, they say.

Would the Raisin Council (there must be one, right?) ever use this slogan? No...they don't have the guts. However, I think it would be a great slogan for that type of a product. Most people would laugh out loud when they saw it, and then they'd be thinking about raisins. Perhaps they could alternate it with a positive slogan in an advertising campaign, so you never knew which slogan they were going to use until the end of the commercial. I like it.

Alternatively, who says that this is the slogan for raisins? Maybe it's the slogan for chocolate chips! Of course, I'm sure that the Raisin Anti-Defamation Council would have some things to say about that.

moviewatcher


quality posts: 1 Private Messages moviewatcher
cleverett wrote:Many years ago I worked in an office that had a candy dish on the receptionist's desk. The dish was emptied several times a day by the employees, at which point it would be refilled with a random selection from many types of candy. One day I grabbed a handful of Skittles and dropped them into my shirt pocket, then went on about my day. Every few minutes I'd toss a Skittle into my mouth without thinking much about it. Eventually I hit one that was so foul that I almost spit it out in front of my coworkers. Turns out it was a stray M&M that was left in the dish from earlier in the day, and it was stealthily hiding amongst the Skittles. I actually like M&M's, but when you're expecting a Skittle and you get chocolate, it's revolting. (The totally wrong texture didn't help, either...instead of a waxy, hard-to-chew substance, the M&M cracked like an egg and flooded my mouth with creamy chocolate.)

Which brings me to my point: When you think you're putting one thing into your mouth and you get something else, it's a huge shock. You don't know what it is that you just ate, because your brain is focused on tasting one thing and then it gets something else. Yuck! And the more times you've expected chocolate and gotten raisins, the larger the aversion you would have to raisins. No wonder these people are protesting for raisins to be outlawed!

However, I do have to wonder why these raisin-haters can't distinguish the difference between a raisin and a chocolate chip. I may have been fooled by a stray M&M in a bowl of Skittles (though to be fair I never even really looked at what I was munching on), but I've never once been suckered into eating a raisin cookie thinking that it was a chocolate chip cookie; chocolate chips just do not look like raisins. Especially after having been burned countless times, apparently (as is evidenced by their rabid revulsion to raisin cookies), shouldn't some sort of self-preservation system in the brain kick in when they see a chocolate chip cookie? Shouldn't there be some intense scrutiny before they take a bite?

My theory is that these people are amongst the most extreme of chocoholics, and that their intense cacao addiction sends their brain into such a tizzy at the sight of a bespeckled cookie that it simply can't process any further visual input. While the rest of us can glance at the cookie and easily determine the not-so-secret ingredient, their sudden euphoria at scoring a fix prevents them from doing so. 0.3 seconds later, the cookie has entered their mouth...and what happens next isn't very pretty.

Of course, it's just a working theory; I haven't actually acquired the funding to conduct a double-blind study yet. Nor have I figured out how to lure this group of people into said study. I'm afraid that mentioning the word "raisin" would be a deal-breaker, and I'm worried about the ethics of not mentioning the word. I'm also quite worried about my safety.

In any case, here's hoping that this shirt will print so that these poor afflicted individuals can buy one. Perhaps seeing the slogan often enough will reprogram their synaptic responses just enough that they can avoid these unfortunate incidents. Or maybe the design will educate those around them of their plight, so that they might take pity and let them know that "hey, those are raisins." Of course, it might also lead to people putting out plates of raisin cookies in a twisted effort to get some great video for YouTube. After all, some people are just sociopaths.


OH NO! You poor thing, having your mouth unexpectedly flooded with creamy chocolate. I can only imagine the horror you have experienced.

I must say that I disagree with your making these people out as suffering from disease. That kind of philosophy runs rampant through our society and the next thing you know, there is a "Chocolate Avoidance and Compassion Act" (CACA) being pushed transparently through Congress behind closed doors, providing $50 billion in inefficient government programs at all of our expense.

Those unable to differentiate between raisins and chocolate need to take responsibility for their own actions and not act like victims of some "disease". And please, do we really need a federally funded study of "why" they can't make this distinction? I think not.

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