Derby #259: Comfort Food
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Braaains: Nutrition Facts

Braaains: Nutrition Facts
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Mavyn


quality posts: 23 Private Messages Mavyn
Re: Braaains: Nutrition Facts


You have this shirt for sale on your red bubble page. That's a violation of the rules.

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

rydrew


quality posts: 0 Private Messages rydrew
Mavyn wrote:You have this shirt for sale on your red bubble page. That's a violation of the rules.


Regrets, I thought I had disabled it. I appreciate the heads up.

rydrew


quality posts: 0 Private Messages rydrew
Re: Braaains: Nutrition Facts


DID YOU KNOW it’s a practical impossibility for zombies to subsist on braaains, due to the effort required to crack open a human skull? DID YOU KNOW the “zombies eat braaains” meme originated in the 1985 film “The Return of the Living Dead”? DID YOU KNOW we think 10,600% is a crazy funny number, we don’t know why — but the high cholesterol in the brain comes from the fatty myelin sheaths on the axons of the neurons?

hodous


quality posts: 0 Private Messages hodous

First of all the human brain would be one of the most nutritious forms of protein known to man. (There would be no carbs in a brain which is what makes this shirt stupid). Although continued eating of a human brain could turn a man into a Wendigo however if you are a Zombie I am sure this would be a step up. As to requiring the strength to break open a skull you are severely mistaken. A simple force of 33 foot pounds is required to crack open the skull and a normal human could crack a persons skull with a slam to solid ground let alone a zombie hopped up on an over active hypothalamus gland.

rydrew


quality posts: 0 Private Messages rydrew
hodous wrote:First of all the human brain would be one of the most nutritious forms of protein known to man. (There would be no carbs in a brain which is what makes this shirt stupid). Although continued eating of a human brain could turn a man into a Wendigo however if you are a Zombie I am sure this would be a step up. As to requiring the strength to break open a skull you are severely mistaken. A simple force of 33 foot pounds is required to crack open the skull and a normal human could crack a persons skull with a slam to solid ground let alone a zombie hopped up on an over active hypothalamus gland.


One can assume that if the brain were harvested alive, there would be glucose (a carbohydrate) in the bloodstream connected thereto. The amount listed here is an avg. and your mileage may vary, depending on whether the host has eaten recently, has a blood sugar disorder, or may have taken a Popsicle arrow to the knee.

Zombies (in this case) are not known for their manual dexterity nor -- unlike, say, advanced primates -- an ability to use tools (in this example, its solidity notwithstanding, the ground).

Not to mention that cracking the skull is a far cry from opening it sufficiently to consume the brain matter, whole or in parts.

We would have welcomed your comments and criticism had you not opened the conversation by calling us stupid. We consulted with much smarter and more fanatical fans of the zombie genre when we developed this design, but we do acknowledge the possibility of error.

We will not thank you for your vote because we assume we did receive it -- but we do wish to express our appreciation to others for a race to 150 votes in 36 hours, give or take. We're new to the Derby and we hope we make it to the Fog.

Again, our thanks, good thoughts, and happy shirts to all of you.

bbacks1


quality posts: 0 Private Messages bbacks1
Re: Braaains: Nutrition Facts


The nutrition information is flawed. "serving size 1 serving 1400g" however your total weight 50g fat, 3900g cholesterol, .09g Carb, 140g protein = over 4000g. Moreover for calories: calories from fat = 450 (50x9), + 560 from Protein (140x4), ~.04 from Carb would be ~1010 total calories. Next, 3900g of Cholesterol? are you kidding? that would put you WAY over the serving size weight from 1 brain; not to mention cholesterol is a steroid and it would neither be found in such a large quantity, nor contribute to the calorie inequality.
Total brain weight of about 1400g is accurate, but other information is mostly incorrect and should be altered for accuracy.

Brain Composition:
Water 77 to 78%
Lipids 10 to 12 %
Protein 8%
Carbohydrate 1%
Soluble organic substances 2%
Inorganic salts 1%

http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/facts.html

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