"My eyeball hurts."
"It doesn't have to be very squooshy, but soft."
Marcus: "Wow, I'm surprised at how long that thing is."
Sharmaine: "Why, does it make you jealous?"
"Do you know a place where I can get crabs?"
"I ran into a school bus this morning."
"I am a fatty."
kenney9226 wrote:"Do you know a place where I can get crabs?"
"I did take it. And I ate it."
"You only ate two? I probably could have crushed about seven of them!"
"Hey, Marcus, do you play 'Pokémon On The Go?'"
"I was just coming over to tell you what an ass you are."
"I can't tell you how many times I fell on top of her."
"Somebody's hiding my trash can. AGAIN!!!"
"If I see them out there, I'm going to grab them."
"Oh, I bit into it again. I didn't mean to..."
Dave: "Hey Bob, do you know Roger Furby?"
Dave: "Well, noggammit, WHY NOT?!"
"I feel I'm going to pop the butt of my pants. What happened to me? Why did I eat all that bread?"
"Ow, I think I pulled my shoulder."
"That wasn't thunder, it was a trash can."
Jenn: "Kenny, I'm going to give you the opportunity to singlehandedly solve this problem that has plagued the entire organization for years!"
Me: "Good thing I emptied my bowels this morning!"
Well...play with it Rhonda
"I like fish, too, but it should NOT be allowed as a lunch time food!"
"Hey, have you lost weight?"
"No, I just have my shirt tucked in."
"Well, you look good anyway."
"I'm ready to drink!"
-Dustin, 8:46 am, Thursday
"That was the longest, most unnecessary phone conversation I've ever had in my life. I wish I could have the last thirty minutes of my life back."
"Call in number five is... Dick?"
PemberDucky wrote:Somebody on the phone, presumably a personal call: "...Yeah, and some cole slaw...Cole...No, it's never been 'cold' slaw....Yeah, I get that it's cold...I know it's served cold, but that's not what the damn thing is called...No, no, I don't know why 'cole'...What the...G*d Dammit, I'm busy here!"
love the coleslaw
"I really want to meet this person in the office who has the severe latex allergy... I also want to know how many kids he has."
"wow. that's a real panty-dropper."
"Hey, do you know [name redacted]?"
"Don't you think he looks like a minion?"
"You are soooo unattractive. It's sad, because there's nothing you can do about it."
"Well, I'm going to the potty. Is that okay with you?"
"Oh, boy, I wish I was wearing sweatpants right now. Or elastic pants."
"Did you get gastric bypass surgery?"
"I forgot to put on a belt this morning."
"Well, be careful, you might get pantsed!"
"I have a big funnel and I just stick it in there..."
PemberDucky wrote:Co-Worker on the phone with a customer: "Yo customer, I'm really happy for you and Imma let you finish, but the caller before you had the best question of all time. OF ALL TIME!!!"
What is the full answer of pi ?
where are you?????
"It's because you're pushing down on something hard."
"Oh, I can smell it now. It must have taken a couple of minutes to get down to me."
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