ThunderThighs


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There once was a czar in Russia whose name was Rudolph the Great. He was standing in his house one day with his wife. He looked out the window and saw something happening. He says to his wife,"Look honey. Its raining."

She, being the obstinate type, responded,"I don't think so, dear. I think its snowing."

But Rudolph knew better. So he says to his wife,"Let's step outside and we'll find out." Lo and behold, they step outside and discover it was in fact rain. And Rudolph turns to his wife and replies," I knew it was raining. Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"


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tennbeekeeper


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daj59 wrote:There once was a czar in Russia whose name was Rudolph the Great. He was standing in his house one day with his wife. He looked out the window and saw something happening. He says to his wife,"Look honey. Its raining."

She, being the obstinate type, responded,"I don't think so, dear. I think its snowing."

But Rudolph knew better. So he says to his wife,"Let's step outside and we'll find out." Lo and behold, they step outside and discover it was in fact rain. And Rudolph turns to his wife and replies," I knew it was raining. Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"



OK... I'll be the first to <Grooooan>.
Now, want to hear my play on words?
I'll type it as soon as I have time to type the long thing in!!! It's about Friars who sell flowers. Do you know that one?

kalyha


quality posts: 0 Private Messages kalyha
daj59 wrote:There once was a czar in Russia whose name was Rudolph the Great. He was standing in his house one day with his wife. He looked out the window and saw something happening. He says to his wife,"Look honey. Its raining."

She, being the obstinate type, responded,"I don't think so, dear. I think its snowing."

But Rudolph knew better. So he says to his wife,"Let's step outside and we'll find out." Lo and behold, they step outside and discover it was in fact rain. And Rudolph turns to his wife and replies," I knew it was raining. Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"



My uncle likes to work that one into conversations. He is pretty good with the set up. He puts himself in the story and discusses a diplomatic party he attended when he lived in Poland. The first time he told it it was almost believable until he approached the punch line

theang


quality posts: 1 Private Messages theang



(sorry if repeat - I didn't look at the rest of the thread)

Raining


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I had Gman in mind when I saw this.
Battle Hymn

and DAJ helped me with the posting.

ThunderThighs


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Put yourself in a snowball fight


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ThunderThighs


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Put yourself in a Hanukkah movie


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ThunderThighs


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The 12 Days AFTER Christmas

The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight.
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burned it just for spite!
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love
My true love
My true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas
I put on me old rubber gloves
And very gently
Wrung the necks
Of both the turtledoves
My true love
My true love
My true love gave to me.

The third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use
The three French hens
To make her chicken soup.
The four calling birds were a big mistake
For their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake
And they turned my fingers green!
My true love
My true love
My true love gave to me.

The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldn't lay
I gave the whole
Darn gaggle to
The A.S.P.C.A.
My true love
My true love
My true love gave to me.

The seventh day what a mess I found!
All seven of the swimming swans had drowned!
My true love
My true love
My true love gave to me.

The eighth day after Christmas
Before they could suspect
I bundled up
The:
eight maids a-milking
nine pipers piping
ten ladies dancing
eleven lords a-leaping
twelve drummers drumming
[well, actually I kept one of the drummers]
And sent them back COLLECT!

I wrote my true love
"We are THROUGH, love!"
And I said in so many words
Furthermore your Christmas gifts are for the BIRDS!
[four calling birds,
three French hens,
two turtledoves
and a partridge in a pear tree....]


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ThunderThighs


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cute card


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ThunderThighs


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Remember these great Christmas albums?


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ThunderThighs


quality posts: 620 Private Messages ThunderThighs

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ThunderThighs


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Some Christmas Smilies for you

You'll want to rehost these on imgur.com.


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ThunderThighs


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Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit cards, it's on my Visa card statement twelve months a year also.
--------------
When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.
--------------
Three phrases that sum up Christmas are:

  • Peace on Earth,
  • Goodwill to Men, and
  • Batteries not included
    --------------
    Father to three-year old: "No a reindeer is not a horse with TV antenna."




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    ThunderThighs


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    Beer Tree


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    ThunderThighs


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    pooflady


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    daj59 wrote:




    Oooooh, pretty.



    The biggest lie that I tell myself daily..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

    stlwooter


    quality posts: 0 Private Messages stlwooter

    A shaggy dog story my dad used to tell:

    Back in the times of the round table, there were two knights that surpassed all others at jousting, Murray of Scotland and Twall of Devonshire. Both had racked up amazing numbers at jousting competitions, and both held undefeated records. It was inevitable, then, that they should eventually meet on the field to determine who was the better jouster, and finally the day was set.

    People went to the bookies to place their bets. Every possible advantage was discussed in taverns and on the streets. Lance length, horse, technique, anything that could give one knight an edge over the other. There was no clear favorite.

    Among the many people placing bets was one of Merlin's servants. The man was torn between these two great fighters and went to his master for advice. Merlin raised and eyebrow at the request for insider information, smiled, and confessed to doing some research himself on the matter. It seems that Merlin was a betting man.

    "My friend," he said, "I have walked invisible in their rooms and inspected everything. I am afraid that Murray has made a mistake in choosing his lance for this event. He chose a smaller diameter grip, and it will rattle in his gauntlet making the tip vibrate and inaccurate. Besides," he continued, "Twall is the better fighter. I have studied his jousts and believe him to have the advantage."

    The servant thanked his master and hurried off to place his bet. Just before handing over his hard earned coin, the servant had misgivings. Better to check one more time with the powerful Merlin and be sure than to lose his spending change. He hurried back and rushed up the spiral stone stairs to Merlin's tower.

    As he got to the top, he saw Merlin taking off in flight and he heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight, "Murray's grip is too small and Twall a good knight."

    ThunderThighs


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    Christmas Cranberries


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    ThunderThighs


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    Time--lapse video of three Google employees creating an 18,600 cell mosaic in a spreadsheet.

    More info here


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    DIY Christmas Gift: Slippers


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    Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were having one of their little father and son chats – with lightsabers drawn and sparks flying.

    Vader pinned Luke against a bulkhead and glared into his face, “I know what you're getting for Christmas, Luke,” he said, “Ohhh, yes! I know!”

    Luke fought himself free and jumped to a higher platform just out of Vader's reach. “How do you know what I’m getting for Christmas?” Luke yelled at him.

    Darth Vader shot Luke an icy glare and said, “The force is with me... I felt your presents.”


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    ThunderThighs


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    Two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.

    After hours of sub zero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde finally turned to the other and said, “I've had it. I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!”


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    ThunderThighs


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    KikiinMud


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    King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last valuable possession was the Star of Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world.

    Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.

    Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."

    "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"

    Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, it makes no difference who you are."

    terrimeyers


    quality posts: 2 Private Messages terrimeyers
    KikiinMud wrote:King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last valuable possession was the Star of Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world.

    Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.

    Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."

    "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"

    Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, it makes no difference who you are."



    *Groan*


    Thanks SS for my new togs!

    KikiinMud


    quality posts: 1 Private Messages KikiinMud
    terrimeyers wrote:*Groan*


    Sorry, maybe you'll like this one better

    Back in the days of the Soviet Union, there was a Russian commissar arguing with his wife over whether the precipitation outside was rain or snow. After a little while they went to their neighbor, who decided the matter for them. The husband, quite smug, said I told you so. His concluding remark was: "Rudolf, the red, knows rain, dear.


    ThunderThighs


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    Nope, nothing at all weird about this singing animal Christmas video


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    ThunderThighs


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    It's a reach but if you listen carefully, you can hear Jingle Bells from these microwaves


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    ThunderThighs


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    Fun Music Video: Can't Wrap This


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    SailorButterfly


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    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The "Most Awesome Butterfly-Sailor Hybrid on Woot"

    ThunderThighs


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    ThunderThighs


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    Cute Doggie Christmas Surprise


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    ThunderThighs


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    ThunderThighs


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    ThunderThighs


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    ThunderThighs


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    ThunderThighs


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    Mavyn


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    My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.