The size of the pipe makes me realize something... Fake pipes are actually pots. A potted plant. It all makes sense now. Why would a vicious plant come from a pipe? Obviously, it wouldn't. "But what about the pipes that you can go down that have a pirahna plant?" you say. It's a trick of perspective. There was a potted plant BEHIND the pipe! "What about the 3D Marios?" What about them? Mario was trippin' on 'shrooms by that point. Everything in the Super Mario Bros. series is perfectly believable.
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Mario was just a simple plumber doing his job. In his world, they didn't have cars, so he had to walk to work. Ants were trying to carry off the mushrooms back to their colonies, but Mario has a deep fear and hatred for ants. If he doesn't squish them (or burn them) and comes in close contact with them, he will become small and cowardly, to the point of running away (and having to start the level over again). Mushroom powerups, that is simply because Mario is a growing boy. He needs his nutritious mushrooms (though in latter parts of his life, he has serious hallucinations)! As for coins, we all find quarters lying on the ground sometimes. But that's chump change. We still need a job, you know. The Koopas are simply turtles undergoing evolution. Mario is a strong Christian, so he makes sure evolution doesn't happen (sorry for those I offend). Hammer Bros are the construction workers, but they're pretty clumsy. Poor Mario needs to watch out more often. Latikus are actually bomber planes, but we perceive them as clouds because of the trail of smoke left behind. These bombs are prototype biomechanical weapons though, so even if you're not hit on the way down, they'll rush into you and make you push the pointy-shaped trigger. Why are Latikus bombing you though? They're Bowser's minion of course!
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Now onto the castles. Mario's got to fix their major plumbing problem. The first tricky part is getting past their security. You have to pull down a white flag to gain clearance. However, sometimes you will find yourself jumping too high to reach the flag, and it sets off the castle's anti-air defense. Then, once you get in, the servant tells you that the mistress is located in another castle, who is the person that pays you.
After you're in the castle, you have to go underground, where all pipes lead, to fix the problem. And that's simple enough. Water is what comes from the leaked pipe. Oh, the things we must go through for our duties (hehe).
Then lastly we've got Bowser. He's the leader of the hired mob. "Hired mob? But why?" Mario is Italian, of course. He loves his pizza. He works hard like the pizza delivery boys and promises his services (his plumbing, that is. No dirty thoughts!) delivered in 30 minutes or less. Peach hired Bowser to slow Mario down so she wouldn't have to pay him for all of his hard work. *gasp!*
And that concludes the story of why Mario is a believable story. Why did I write that again? Oh yeah, because I'm tired but I must stay awake. Thank you Woot, for allowing me to waste time that I have too much of.
Oh, and nice shirt. 
