kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I like it looser because then I can shake it. When it's tight like this I feel like I'm being strangled!"

plesso


quality posts: 0 Private Messages plesso
jqubed wrote:teh moar u no!



That used to bother me, but I was too lazy to research it.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"That's why they call me 'The Hammer!'"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Usually I just get on my hands and knees and clean it up when I'm done."

Mavyn


quality posts: 22 Private Messages Mavyn

"You can't get him to do anything he doesn't want to do, but you can learn a lot from him."

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I don't care if I weigh 300 pounds, as long as I can fit into a size 8."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Oops! My shirt just popped open!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I sure wouldn't mind being sexually harassed around here every once in a while!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"First, I smell it, then I want to see it, then I want to taste it."

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 539 Private Messages ThunderThighs

Staff

Overhead yesterday:

"Yes, you'll see your balls on display on our site tomorrow."



Customer Service: support@woot.com ••• Allow 1-2 business days for response.
••• ► Woot's Return Policy
◄ ••• ► Did you check your spam/junk folders for a CS reply?
CANCEL?? How to cancel your order in the first 15 minutes!! - except Woot-Offs & expedited orders

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I tried pulling it out this morning, but it got stuck."

Mavyn


quality posts: 22 Private Messages Mavyn

'I had a really good story about old people, because my neighbor just died and he was really old.'

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I'm surprised at how petite you are that you have such a nice ass!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"The weather is so nice outside today, it makes me want to go out for a nice jog.

Too bad I can't friggin' jog."

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista

Quite loudly:

"So I'm a prostitute! I even pushed my brother into it. I told them I'd get him to do it for them and they could give me a bunch of money to keep working - oh I mean I'm a pimp, not a prostitute."

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

Beware the V'owls screech!

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

Damien: "Hey, Kenny, have you ever watched that movie Office Space?"

Me: "Only every Monday for three years back when I hated my job."

Damien: "Come over here and tell me if you recognize this song."

Me: "Is it, 'Damn, it Feels Good to be a Gangster?'"

Damien: "It sure is!"

Both: "hahahahehehahehahaheheheh!!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Just rub the vaseline on your ear, or wherever..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I don't understand how it can be a tight fit and then suddenly it becomes all loose..."

"It's because all the wiggling and tugging when you pull it out, it wears it out over time."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Tom Cruise's cousin's face is about to be mass-tweeted."

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 539 Private Messages ThunderThighs

Staff

"Do you smell like sausage juice?"

(Edit: Seriously, sausages)



Customer Service: support@woot.com ••• Allow 1-2 business days for response.
••• ► Woot's Return Policy
◄ ••• ► Did you check your spam/junk folders for a CS reply?
CANCEL?? How to cancel your order in the first 15 minutes!! - except Woot-Offs & expedited orders

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Are you in the dark hole over there? I wanna go in the dark hole..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"One thing I don't want to do is stick my hand up in that thing. Once it gets stuck at the elbow, I'll be greatly disappointed."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Don't start here, but start over here and work your way in. This one sticks up, and that one goes the other way."

"I put my finger in there and got it wet, and there's this big glob..."

"Oh, I was the same way!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"It's so furry. It's not even cute."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I hope Darren comes back to pick up his cupcake. I look like a total fat @ss with TWO cupcakes on my desk."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I just bought this [business card holder]. I don't know why, because I don't have any business cards..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Some people call it 'cussing people out,' but I just call it 'motivating.'"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I, at one time, expected perfection, but then I got old and jaded."

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"I think she's the ugliest thing ever. She's too skinny and she's got big lips. There's nothing cute about her!"

maxikyd


quality posts: 6 Private Messages maxikyd
SkekTek wrote:Also, out of the blue, some student's ring tone is the hampster dance.

Nothing like hearing a long-dead meme on a brand new iPhone...



hate to admit it, but hamster dance is still my homepage.

Mavyn


quality posts: 22 Private Messages Mavyn

*coworker laughs*
I will punch you in the throat.
*laughs more*

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

hot72chev


quality posts: 11 Private Messages hot72chev

It's a good thing I don't have any ambition.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"It doesn't hurt to put duties on them."

"We want to put a duty on him."

"Duties, duties, duties!"

Raining


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Raining
kenney9226 wrote:"It doesn't hurt to put duties on them."

"We want to put a duty on him."

"Duties, duties, duties!"


duty farm

hot72chev


quality posts: 11 Private Messages hot72chev

"If there is one thing Patty always needed, it was a nose job."

electric1


quality posts: 0 Private Messages electric1
PemberDucky wrote:Maybe it *is* a psych ward!!

Today's gem:

Co-worker #1 is singing Whitney Houston. Poorly.

Co-worker #2: Yeah, I'm going to need you to not f*** up a classic like that.



My favorite response to something like this (and what co-worker 2 should have said)... "Do you take requests?"

Co-worker 1 (feeling good about themselves): "Sure"

Co-worker 2: "Shut the f*** up!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"Like you're asking, I am sticking it in there for you!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"PICK YOUR MONKEY AND PUT YOUR NAME UNDER IT!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226

"He can't do it for long. His hands get tired because I like it hard and deep."

hot72chev


quality posts: 11 Private Messages hot72chev

"Can I make that bigger for you?"