kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I have never met anybody who loves nuts more than Juanita... If it doesn't have nuts, she won't be eating it."

Mavyn


quality posts: 23 Private Messages Mavyn

"We have been having suppository issues lately, haven't we?"

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista

"Oh good, you caught him on the way back from the toilet. It's just mean to stop him on the way. If you do that he has to do the little boy potty dance."

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

Mavyn


quality posts: 23 Private Messages Mavyn

"There is no zebra."

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

bschott007


quality posts: 0 Private Messages bschott007

Overheard at an ISP where I was returning a PC which had been infected with the CryptoLocker virus.

CSR: "I'm sorry ma'ma, but you are not a customer of ours."

*Lady on other end is talking*

CSR: "I understand that your neighbors are a customer but they would need to call us if they are having an issue with their internet"

*Lady is yelling*

CSR: "Ma'ma, let me just understand. You are using your neighbors' wifi to get internet access, they don't know you are using their wifi, and you are calling us because their internet is down?"

*Lady talking*

CSR: "I'm sorry that it's asking you for a password now but I can't help you steal your neighbors internet"

Lady yells loud enough for me to overhear "Well you are no help to me at all!" and she hangs up.

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

[female coworker talking to two other female coworkers in the cube next to mine]

"I was shopping for yoga pants and asked the lady what size she thought I was, and she said, "You're probably a size 20."

I said, "Excuse me? I'm a MEN'S MEDIUM."

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

bschott007 wrote:Overheard at an ISP where I was returning a PC which had been infected with the CryptoLocker virus.

CSR: "I'm sorry ma'ma, but you are not a customer of ours."

*Lady on other end is talking*

CSR: "I understand that your neighbors are a customer but they would need to call us if they are having an issue with their internet"

*Lady is yelling*

CSR: "Ma'ma, let me just understand. You are using your neighbors' wifi to get internet access, they don't know you are using their wifi, and you are calling us because their internet is down?"

*Lady talking*

CSR: "I'm sorry that it's asking you for a password now but I can't help you steal your neighbors internet"

Lady yells loud enough for me to overhear "Well you are no help to me at all!" and she hangs up.



Good one!



WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

kenney9226 wrote:[female coworker talking to two other female coworkers in the cube next to mine]

"I was shopping for yoga pants and asked the lady what size she thought I was, and she said, "You're probably a size 20."

I said, "Excuse me? I'm a MEN'S MEDIUM."



Lurker!

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"How come everyone got their things big like that but I can't get mine?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"If they want me to keep all these emails, why do they give me a DELETE button?"

mdrcoast


quality posts: 19 Private Messages mdrcoast

"Since I only have this small laptop here and I don’t want to disconnect and reconnect every day from office and home"

Mavyn


quality posts: 23 Private Messages Mavyn

Let's move out from the meat space arena now.

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I'll pull it out and wiggle it if you think it'll help..."

Mavyn


quality posts: 23 Private Messages Mavyn

I'm taking them outside and beating their asses.

No one heard me say that, right?

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"It's okay, you can push that down if you want..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I don't like wearing that many clothes..."


kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I'll just snowplow until I get to a place that's more level..."

stacipurv


quality posts: 3 Private Messages stacipurv
kenney9226 wrote:"I'll just snowplow until I get to a place that's more level..."



Um, no. Booty call is not a more polite way to say butt-dial. You really need to understand the difference.

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Kenny, are you going to send me your thingie?"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I don't want to be the girl who puts the semicolon in the wrong place."

jqubed


quality posts: 7 Private Messages jqubed

"If we don't blow something up. The instructions say to not run more than 2 on a single power supply.
...
F--k it, I'm going to run 6."

ⅉℚ Seventh Annual Woot! Bracketology | I'm Quality Peoples!

Skye — 1997-2007

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I'm trying to make it fit in the hole, but it's not going to fit in the hole..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"The trick is to stick it in the hole."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Are you eating nuts over there?"

"mmmm-hmmm....."

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

kenney9226 wrote:"Are you eating nuts over there?"

"mmmm-hmmm....."



Where do you work? A sex clinic?

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"It's so gross when you're eating stuff and it gets really clumpy!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Everything I touch is sensitive!"

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"Up until last September, I could get penis with this..."

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I didn't expect my front part to get all smudged up like that..."

jqubed


quality posts: 7 Private Messages jqubed

Gotta love walking into the bathroom and someone's in a stall clearly involved in a text conversation on their phone.

taptaptaptaptap
*ding-a-ling*
taptaptaptaptap
*ding-a-ling*

ⅉℚ Seventh Annual Woot! Bracketology | I'm Quality Peoples!

Skye — 1997-2007

moles1138


quality posts: 27 Private Messages moles1138

Entertainment Weekly had an article about the AVN Awards. One of the "actresses" had 2000ml implants. I mentioned that that was like two 2 liter bottles. A coworker said "That's a lot of pop".

Move along. Nothing to see here.

moles1138


quality posts: 27 Private Messages moles1138

actually this was in the pet department of a department store many years ago...

Redneck 1: Chick-o-Lina? Wut's that?
Redneck 2: That's a Chinchilla. You know, wut they make them mink coats out of.

Move along. Nothing to see here.

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"It's a goldendoodle."

("That's what she calls me!")

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I better go out to the store today and buy me an electric blanket. No way am I gonna freeze if the power goes out."

Mavyn


quality posts: 23 Private Messages Mavyn

Not at MY work, but at the bank while I was cashing a $20 rebate check.

Me: It was $8 for 3 bottles, and then a $20 rebate. Great deal!

Teller: Wow, I love that you MADE $6 buying vodka.

My speech is not parsing. I am speaking in ellipsis.

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I heard we're getting 6 to 8 inches.."

"Or as my wife likes to say, just a typical Saturday night..."

jqubed


quality posts: 7 Private Messages jqubed
kenney9226 wrote:"I better go out to the store today and buy me an electric blanket. No way am I gonna freeze if the power goes out."



rofl

ⅉℚ Seventh Annual Woot! Bracketology | I'm Quality Peoples!

Skye — 1997-2007

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226
kenney9226 wrote:"I heard we're getting 6 to 8 inches.."

"Or as my wife likes to say, just a typical Saturday night..."



"Anything over an inch is a lot!"

jqubed


quality posts: 7 Private Messages jqubed
Mavyn wrote:Not at MY work, but at the bank while I was cashing a $20 rebate check.

Me: It was $8 for 3 bottles, and then a $20 rebate. Great deal!

Teller: Wow, I love that you MADE $6 buying vodka.



That's comforting. That's the level of math skills I want to see in the people handling my money.

ⅉℚ Seventh Annual Woot! Bracketology | I'm Quality Peoples!

Skye — 1997-2007

kenney9226


quality posts: 7 Private Messages kenney9226

"I got one in my basement that will take 18 men and a grown boy to take out."