inkycatz


quality posts: 105 Private Messages inkycatz


Okay look, the world hasn't ended and isn't going to today apparently, and a lot of us around here are a bit, oh how do we say this kindly... put out over the matter.

Please tell me why so I may continue to make some excuses to stave off the angry mobs. I mean, everyone's asking me - like I know, and I'm running out of things to say, so I need your help.

You may have as much space as you wish within a post to make your excuses. You may offer diagrams, flowcharts, and even chocolates to make up for this heinous neglect.

No science! No logic - it is Friday before a holiday (Yule is today if you're into that, so it's technically a holiday) and that's just wrong to bring logic in here. I will simply ignore all logical and rational explanations, and favor those who are whimsical and ridiculous.

You wanna blame Santa?
You wanna take credit?
PLEASE DO IT. CREATIVITY COUNTS.

I'm just hanging out, really.

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1

the mayans wanted to see how this whole "fiscal cliff" thing turns out

AZGman


quality posts: 3 Private Messages AZGman

More than nine hours left in the day; it's not too late!

Grumpy 'til the day I die.

Lynnzoi


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Lynnzoi

just kidding!

AZGman


quality posts: 3 Private Messages AZGman
Lynnzoi wrote:just kidding!



I picked a bad day to quit sniffing glue!

Grumpy 'til the day I die.

Lynnzoi


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Lynnzoi

no answers here - just a statement on the situation by a disgruntled observer

Lynnzoi


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Lynnzoi

here's the real story.....

thumperchick


quality posts: 241 Private Messages thumperchick

The Mayans looked around and realized that we're all actually "ready" for the apocalypse and decided to wait until we're not all prepared with ammo and bugout bags. They'll strike when we get lax. Or, whenever The Walking Dead stops airing. Whichever comes HO! HO! HO!

inkycatz


quality posts: 105 Private Messages inkycatz
Lynnzoi wrote:here's the real story.....


Hah! Timely and truthy!

You should check your PM box though, Lynnzoi!

I'm just hanging out, really.

Lynnzoi


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Lynnzoi
inkycatz wrote:Hah! Timely and truthy!

You should check your PM box though, Lynnzoi!



woohoo!

thnx!

sedgerton


quality posts: 0 Private Messages sedgerton
inkycatz wrote:


Please tell me why so I may continue to make some excuses to stave off the angry mobs. [/b]



I'll tell you exactly why the world didn't end..
or what I shall hence forth call the "End of the beginning of the end"
It started a few weeks ago, I was washing my wifes car. She spilled a diet coke in the front seat, and set her purse in it. Then, she set it on the hood, where it left a huge sopping wet spot. the Neighborhood cat walked in it, left sticky paw tracks up and down the window. Cheesed me off.

Well, I was on my way to the car wash, and I saw the 7-11 was having a sale on donuts. so I stopped in to grab two, you know, the chocolate ones with the multi-colored sprinkles.

Anyway, I was driving along, and the car made a "SPRONG" kind of noise. I knew right then, that something was hosed in the motor. I don't have enough money to get the motor fixed. I work in the computer networking field, as a low level install technician, and am still learning, so I drove to the repair shop.

Anyway, the shop foreman, Jim, The guys there call him jimmy the gimp, on account of his funny short leg. They saiod not to mention it, so I tried to ignore it, but it was difficult. I almost smirked, but I saw him whip his head around as if to look at me.

Anyway, he say to me, You need a new. "blah blah blah blah.." I kinda tuned him out, on account of how funny he walked as he paced and talked. So I says to him. "Sure"

Anyway, the next thing I know, is the car is being driven to the back of the lot, and straight into this big box, they call the "crusher." It seems, that the Gimp told me that he could fix it, or "reccomend" a new car dealer to me, his cousin Vinnie. They call him Vinnie- Leggs. on account of how long his legs are, which is funny, considering how funny and odd Jimmy-Gimps legs are.

Anyway, they CRUSH my car. They gave my 50 bucks cash for the scrap value for it.

Anyway, the reason the world didn't end, is because it really wasn't my car, Now I gotta go home, and tell my wife why her car is gone.

Trust me... I would rather have my brain munched on by a zombie horde or that the world had gone ploof because the sun had gone super-nova, then have to tell my "butter-cup" to put down her corn dog so I can tell her some Guy named Jimmy Gimp crushed her beloved "General Lee" look-a-like, and that I am going to have to buy her a Prius, so I can afford to buy her some more corn-dogs and Diet coke.

Anyway, if your every in Tupolo, come down to the hospital and look for me, I'll be in the sever trauma ward, suffering from two broken legs and a crushed spleen.

Butter-cup loved that car.



NorthernSoutherner


quality posts: 0 Private Messages NorthernSoutherner

It did end. And this is the after-life.

inkycatz


quality posts: 105 Private Messages inkycatz
NorthernSoutherner wrote:It did end. And this is the after-life.


I think I expected more.

I'm just hanging out, really.

RWoodward


quality posts: 58 Private Messages RWoodward
inkycatz wrote:I think I expected more.



Maybe an island where a crippled guy can walk?

holapaco


quality posts: 0 Private Messages holapaco
sedgerton wrote:I'll tell you exactly why the world didn't end..
or what I shall hence forth call the "End of the beginning of the end"
It started a few weeks ago, I was washing my wifes car. She spilled a diet coke in the front seat, and set her purse in it. Then, she set it on the hood, where it left a huge sopping wet spot. the Neighborhood cat walked in it, left sticky paw tracks up and down the window. Cheesed me off.

Well, I was on my way to the car wash, and I saw the 7-11 was having a sale on donuts. so I stopped in to grab two, you know, the chocolate ones with the multi-colored sprinkles.

Anyway, I was driving along, and the car made a "SPRONG" kind of noise. I knew right then, that something was hosed in the motor. I don't have enough money to get the motor fixed. I work in the computer networking field, as a low level install technician, and am still learning, so I drove to the repair shop.

Anyway, the shop foreman, Jim, The guys there call him jimmy the gimp, on account of his funny short leg. They saiod not to mention it, so I tried to ignore it, but it was difficult. I almost smirked, but I saw him whip his head around as if to look at me.

Anyway, he say to me, You need a new. "blah blah blah blah.." I kinda tuned him out, on account of how funny he walked as he paced and talked. So I says to him. "Sure"

Anyway, the next thing I know, is the car is being driven to the back of the lot, and straight into this big box, they call the "crusher." It seems, that the Gimp told me that he could fix it, or "reccomend" a new car dealer to me, his cousin Vinnie. They call him Vinnie- Leggs. on account of how long his legs are, which is funny, considering how funny and odd Jimmy-Gimps legs are.

Anyway, they CRUSH my car. They gave my 50 bucks cash for the scrap value for it.

Anyway, the reason the world didn't end, is because it really wasn't my car, Now I gotta go home, and tell my wife why her car is gone.

Trust me... I would rather have my brain munched on by a zombie horde or that the world had gone ploof because the sun had gone super-nova, then have to tell my "butter-cup" to put down her corn dog so I can tell her some Guy named Jimmy Gimp crushed her beloved "General Lee" look-a-like, and that I am going to have to buy her a Prius, so I can afford to buy her some more corn-dogs and Diet coke.

Anyway, if your every in Tupolo, come down to the hospital and look for me, I'll be in the sever trauma ward, suffering from two broken legs and a crushed spleen.

Butter-cup loved that car.



That...was awesome. Thank you.

sedgerton


quality posts: 0 Private Messages sedgerton
holapaco wrote:That...was awesome. Thank you.



hahah ButterCup did love her car...

thank you for saying so...

jawsuser


quality posts: 4 Private Messages jawsuser
sedgerton wrote:hahah ButterCup did love her car...

thank you for saying so...



So did they let you out of the hospital or did ButterCup go easy on you?

sedgerton


quality posts: 0 Private Messages sedgerton
jawsuser wrote:So did they let you out of the hospital or did ButterCup go easy on you?



Lets just say You don't want to know where she put put her corn dog.. The doctor has scheduled another surgery to see if he can remove more of it.

I never thought sideways was possible to begn with....

Like I always said,, Buttercup loved her car....

jawsuser


quality posts: 4 Private Messages jawsuser
sedgerton wrote:Lets just say You don't want to know where she put put her corn dog.. The doctor has scheduled another surgery to see if he can remove more of it.

I never thought sideways was possible to begn with....

Like I always said,, Buttercup loved her car....



You're lucky it was just a corn dog. My weapon of choice, if I were married, would be a number 10 cast iron skillet. It definitely would get a person's attention.

norcalbecca


quality posts: 0 Private Messages norcalbecca
jawsuser wrote:You're lucky it was just a corn dog. My weapon of choice, if I were married, would be a number 10 cast iron skillet. It definitely would get a person's attention.



Just the mental picture alone produced an involuntary clenching.

I think the folks at the Department of Education/SallieMae made some sort of pact with the ancient Mayan deities... something to do with them receiving a cut of the funds (or other payment) they're currently bleeding from me every month because I could have sworn that there was a coupon offering a 10% reduction in my total owed in exchange for my first born child in last month's billing statement... anyway, I'm guessing that until the funds or promised number of children have been stockpiled to appease the deities, the world'll be safe from total annihilation.