Zippers and buttons and snaps are all well and good, but I'd like to take a moment to laud the greatest of apparel attaching tools: the mighty horned toggle. Oh fastener of felts! Oh coupler of cottons! Oh trusser of tangibly terrific tops! Aii, how I do love thy leathered locking links. How I cherish thy stubby scimitars of well-wedging warmth. My wintrous coats and sweatered torso are made better being by thy presence, and I am grateful to the solid comfort and subtle grace of thine appearances on my connectable clothings. Hail to the toggle, the most fastidiously fat-fingers-forgiving of fastenings! Praise be unto its duffled domains! Long may the fair toggle continue its affixing actuality upon my person and many others! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!