Shirt.Woot

PathDaemon wrote:

Wow. Amazing. The worst I've done involved a disposable camera. I didn't faint, but it felt like needles were dancing on my hand. I started to disassemble a CRT when I was young, but my parents made me stop :-( How do you discharge one of those things, anyway?

I saw a cool way to make a do-it-yourself discharger. First find a three prong power cord, either from a no-longer used appliance, or from an extension cord. Cut off the two regular prongs, so all you have left is the ground prong. Strip the cord down a bit to expose the three wires inside the cord, you are interested in the black wire. Strip the black wire a couple of inches and wrap it around the base of the metal part of a screwdriver with a plastic handle, use electrical tape to hold it on. Now plug in your new one-prong cord. Your screwdriver is now a discharger and can be used to discharge the monitor before you work on it, simply touch the tip of the scredriver to the high-voltage part in the monitor, and it becomes instantly discharged.

RevJOnathan wrote:

cpltrainer wrote: Very nice.... very nice, indeed.... I think I'm gonna cry

Woody1 wrote:

Wootdedo taser experience: by woootdedo What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety.

Just for the record, since nobody else mentioned it...that was not a taser, it was a stun gun. A taser is similar to a stun gun in effect, but it looks like a gun and uses compressed gas to shoot barbed darts (basically a fish hook without the hook) up to about 15 feet until they lodge into your target. Said darts have tiny wires that connect all the way back to the battery in the gun that then reduces your assailant into a quivering mass of protoplasm.

The police in Portland (Oregon) all carry taser guns now, and they miss no opportunity to turn a suspect into a pile of shaking Jello with them. I'm a big fan too, because they used to use a lot of high-speed lead projectiles instead. Of course, when I watch Cops I usually chant "tase him, tase him, tase him" (in my best Beavis/Cornholio voice) throughout the show...so understand that I'm weird.

gimmaroon wrote:

kpk021 wrote: Here we go: Most EXCELLENT!!!!

thanks.... i haven't laughed this much in a long time... i figured what you where going to do, and what the result would have been at the begginning of the story, but the way you told it was hilariious. sitting there at the time, i would have probably done it anyway!! it's something that you just had to do!! Hahaha..LOL

lol a fun thread this is : )

kpk021 wrote:

gimmaroon wrote:  kpk021 wrote: Here we go: Most EXCELLENT!!!! I hope everyone saved it that wants it, since I forgot to bookmark the site I found it at. This thread got me looking for other taser stories and I found a forum somewhere in which someone used this taser emoticon thing.

I wonder what would happen if you got tased while wearing a grounding strap. Would it overload the strap and shock you, or would it work and absorb the electricity?

ccanni1028 wrote:

I wonder what would happen if you got tased while wearing a grounding strap. Would it overload the strap and shock you, or would it work and absorb the electricity?

Try it, and let us know

I think I just wet myself

oblivious2living wrote:

ahh man I had a simalar exsperiance with a crt monitor... disregarded the DO NOT TOCUH HIGH VOLATAGE sign and shicked myself with 200,000v at 10ma.... luckaly didnt go through my hear or I would of been gone... yeah I woke up wet on the ground in a puddle of god knows what... but man.... electricity hurts

When he was much younger than he is now (I hope) my experimental physics teacher apparently tried to repair a TV that had been unplugged, not knowing that they had rather powerful capacitors inside. He woke up shortly afterwards, across the room.

ccanni1028 wrote:

I wonder what would happen if you got tased while wearing a grounding strap. Would it overload the strap and shock you, or would it work and absorb the electricity?

Well, here's the thing, instead of grounding to the actual ground (i.e. through your feet usually), it would just ground through the grounding strap, so it would really mess up whatever was between the taser and the ground strap.

"... here's one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor."

LOL... I saw that coming from a mile away... what a goober :)

Any one seen Wootdedo's pecans? The squirrels are forming a union "National Union of Tasered Squirrels" or NUTS.

This Squirrel Will Go Straight For The Nuts
KEENE, NEW HAMPSHIRE-- Keene High School has a new weapon in the war against disorder and chaos in the hallways. Geoffrey Tuddle, the hall monitor, now has a helper--a trained flying squirrel named "Rocky."


Geoffrey Tuddle, hall monitor, sends "Rocky" his flying squirrel, after delinquent students.

The school obtained Rocky from Trainex, an animal training company that normally provides police departments with attack dogs.

"It's an experiment," said Richard Strong, school principal. "A parent on the board had a connection with this company. From what I understand it was originally trained as a back-up for cocaine-sniffing anteaters but they just flew too high. They were being phased out and we were able to get one at cost. We'll see how it works out."

Geoffrey Tuddle is pleased with the squirrel. "I know what you're thinking *snort*," said Geoffrey. "But, no he doesn't go straight for the nuts, *snark*."

Rocky is an exception to the "no pets at school" rule, as the 2-year-old flying squirrel is highly-trained and well-behaved. The spirited rodent soars through the air and identifies truant students by urinating on them. It only took a week for students to learn they couldn't mess with Rocky.

"Truancy and tardiness is down 60% over last year," exclaimed Strong.

If you're late for class, Rocky will make sure that you have that hall-pass. He'll snatch it out of a student's hand faster than you can say Secret Squirrel, and verify its authenticity by the special scratch-and-sniff aroma bar placed across the top.

"Rocky has sure made hall monitoring easier," said Geoffrey. "I was pretty good before Rocky, but now I'm unstoppable. You know, people think this job is just for geeks, but there's a lot to know. The creak of a washroom door, the subtle change in air pressure when someone opens the outside door next to Mrs. Williams' geography class, or even the reflections off of the school trophy case near the west wing, all are subtle clues that something is going down. And now, with Rocky's keen sense of hearing we can even pinpoint a locker opening from almost anywhere on the second floor."

The added fear of rabies also keeps the students in line.

Rocky enjoys almonds as a reward for work well-done. Geoffrey will also occasionally feed Rocky a chunk of a Milk-Bone dog biscuit as a special treat. "But only in special cases," added Geoffrey.

The other students avoid Geoffrey and his acrobatic hall detective. Mostly because they now fear Geoffrey as some sort of Animal Kingdom geek.

"He just used to be someone you could ignore," said Tammy Winters, a grade 10 student. "But now with that stupid rat-thing everyone goes out of their way to stay away from him."

"I wouldn't mind the squirrel so much," said another student, "but what's with that identification badge Geoff is wearing? What happened to the gay sash he had last year?"

Beggin' Strips

Beggin' Strips are bacon-shaped, bacon-flavored treats for dogs. In the commercial a dog runs around the house like a maniac shouting BACON, BACON, BACON, BACON, BACON! It's weird, because I do the exact same thing.

Beggin' Strips slogan is "Dog's don't know it's not bacon!" Newsflash: Dogs are retarded. Mine used to eat his own vomit, and wag his tail while he did it. I'll be the one to decide if this stuff tastes like bacon or not.

I know these snacks aren't made for human consumption, but while I was in the store the ingredients list looked pretty tame so I wasn't too concerned. Somehow I had missed one extremely dubious word sitting there all by itself. "MEAT". That's all it says... meat.

Meat is a pretty large umbrella. Beef is meat. Pork is meat. Horses, monkeys, and allegedly Arby's roast beef are meat. Even Rosie O'Donnell's ball sack is meat. Okay, maybe I've gone too far. I have no idea what that is they are serving at Arby's, but you get my point.

Alas, there is no turning back now. Despite the fact that I am a grown man with children, I'm off to go eat dog food. And what better way to have Beggin' Strips than in a Beggin', Lettuce, and Tomato Sammich!


**********

**********

I'm back. And I'm sad to report that I did not run around the house yelling "Bacon!" I did, however, run around the house yelling "Call 911!"

GodDAMN these are foul. Don't try this at home. I'm not sure it's safe, and I am sure your tongue may kill itself.

While they were a little too artificially colored red to pass for real bacon, I was pleased to see they were not all the same shape. Similar to slices of real bacon, they each have their own curvy and shriveled identity. (Just like my aunts and uncles.)

And somehow these Beggin' Strips also managed to smell just like bacon. Oopsie. Typo. I meant to say "the smoky puke of a thousand maniacs."

To put it simply, this is the devil's bacon. Even a healthy dose of bread, mayo, lettuce and tomato couldn't come close to masking the evil. The bitter nastiness literally got worse with every chew, and I was overcome by the urge to go in the backyard and eat grass until it was all out of me.

The following is a message to all dogs who read The Sneeze: First, sit. Sit! Good boy. Now listen to me. Beggin' Strips do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT TASTE LIKE BACON. You are all being played for chumps! Alright, now give me your paw. Okay, roll over! Good boy! Now go take a steamy dump in your master's shoe. Go on! Get!

In closing, the only silver lining to this dark dark cloud is I have figured out why so many dogs lick their own meanies. They are trying to kill the taste of Beggin' Strips. (By the way, it doesn't work.)

Sorry, acronyms won't work here after I've read this.

Oh my God, Laughing My Ass Off (and it's a sizable ass so that's saying a mouthful.) I never read this thread before.

I'm spent, there's cheap beer spewed all over my keyboard and monitor and my dog's looking at me as if I've lost my mindl.

Thanks for the revival.



You're killing me here.

wootdedo wrote:

Beggin' Strips <snip>

Do you remember when those actually came out, like 25 years ago (maybe they were called something else then).

Anyway, Beef Jerky was like GOLD in our house, and I was coming up stairs to go to bed, dog following as I had the bacon treat with me. My sister, 7 years older than I and pretty bossy (Ah sisters!) she thought I had beef jerky in my hand. She yelled "that's mine, I bought it at the store", ran into the hall to intercept me. Well I don't now what came over me but I said "I don't care it's mine now" It was like I was somebody else for a minute. She grabed the two strips out of my hands, and shoved them into her face like a dog that just found a porterhouse cooked and unattended. She said "let's see you get them now baby" (I put on the pouty face). I walked into my room, slammed the door for effect, and started laughing. My parents heard the door slam and that is a major no-no in my house. So here comes my father ready to whip me. He yelled what was the matter. Perplexed at me laughing, I said the big sis just stole the dog treats and ate them all up. He was confused and left to her room and asked"did you just eat the dog treats?" She replied no, he had my beef jerky. He came back and asked for clarification. He left laughing and said to my mom, "you'd better go walk your daughter, I think she needs to go outside one last time tonight"

We laughed at her for weeks, and she never stole food out of my hands again.

Oh we got the dog her treats after a while, but she was watching sis as well.

That a good one Woody! Always best when siblings do it to themselves!

Snookered wrote:

oops

They do smell tasty though, but not that desperate, yet...

Woody1 wrote:

They do smell tasty though, but not that desperate, yet...

Sometimes I forget who I am. Doh.

Where has Gimma been lately?

ahh... stories of stupidity... well, lets see, the worst I've done with electricity was one of those disposable cameras. arm was tingly for hours afterwards. Eating odd stuff? probably most unusual pet food was purina catfish food. bad tasting and bland at the same time. some of those moist canned cat foods smell pretty good to be honest. most unusual pet as food was a dog dinner in vietnam. the sliced roast was good (real similar to beef) but the sausage was kinda gristley and not too tasty.

Woody1 wrote:

Wootdedo taser experience: by woootdedo A friend of mine is fond of saying that my last words on this Earth will be something akin to, "hey y'all, hold my beer and watch this!" By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward. They're round, rather a nice size, kinda hairy, and handsome if I must say so myself. I sure do miss 'em. Sure would like to get 'em back

Are these yerz?

ccanni1028 wrote:

I wonder what would happen if you got tased while wearing a grounding strap. Would it overload the strap and shock you, or would it work and absorb the electricity?

Alien Research Group wrote:

Are these yerz?

That's cruel and unusual punishment!

Alien Research Group wrote:

Are these yerz? Oh I'm blinded!

Oh God, nightmares, the imagry, got to shake the image, Augh!!!!

Woody1 wrote:

Oh God, nightmares, the imagry, got to shake the image, Augh!!!!

Please tell me that's not Wootdedo! Shudder.

pooflady wrote:

Please tell me that's not Wootdedo! Shudder.

If it is, we have to have Goodwill drop of a care package, starting with a athletic supporter and a baseball cup.

Woody1 wrote:

If it is, we have to have Goodwill drop of a care package, starting with a athletic supporter and a baseball cup.

How about a tent?

pooflady wrote:

How about a tent?

I just want the image to go away. My eyes have screen burn-in. LOL!

Woody1 wrote:

I just want the image to go away. My eyes have screen burn-in. LOL!

I need a smiley that covers its eyes.

pooflady wrote:

I need a smiley that covers its eyes.

oblivious2living wrote:

ahh man I had a simalar exsperiance with a crt monitor... disregarded the DO NOT TOCUH HIGH VOLATAGE sign and shicked myself with 200,000v at 10ma.... luckaly didnt go through my hear or I would of been gone... yeah I woke up wet on the ground in a puddle of god knows what... but man.... electricity hurts

Thank you for stating the mA rating. People are extremely retarded about this. They think voltage is what shocks them, when you could hump a 500,000v fence if it has a 1mA or lower rating. 10mA is actually quite painful, at any voltage rating. It also depends if it is AC or DC.

If you were shocked by a CRT, then you are an idiot. You either thought you could open it and work on it, or you were even dumber and thought it would be funny to pee on it. A classmate was shocked by a CRT, he had worked on them before, and was very egotistical and thought he was an electrical genius. That was until he slipped. There was a loud noise, then a bang. We came into the room, and saw he had launched 20 feet back into a wall, leaving a huge impression on the wall. He of course passed out, but was lucky enough to live, as the amperage rating isn't extremely high.

A fatal amperage varies on body mass and location of the shock, but it is in the region of 70-80mA.

Oh, and also, tasers are a very low amperage rating, most are 3 mA. Now this isn't enough to flat out kill, and actually isn't very painful compared to other shocks (i have been shocked several times by several things, except for a crt monitor or computer power supply, i don't mess with death).

The thing with taser is that a sustained shock of over 2mA can fibrillate your heart, and a sustained shock from a taser could cause you to go into cardiac arrest. This is why several states are now banning use of tasers in the police department. There are now quite a few incidents of people that were directly tased by police officers that died anywhere from a minutes to a day or so later, because of the damage it causes to your body. This has yet to happen with remotely deployed tasers though (when the contacts are shot and hook onto the skin), I am not exactly certain why.

Be careful. If you get carried away with a taser, you could be laughing it up all day long, then suddenly go into cardiac arrest, wish isn't funny at all.

ccanni1028 wrote:

I wonder what would happen if you got tased while wearing a grounding strap. Would it overload the strap and shock you, or would it work and absorb the electricity?

You obviously don't know what a grounding strap is for. Go look at the box. You use a grounding strap when working on low power, sensitive devices, such as computer motherboards, processors, ram, video cards. It is so that any static electricity built up in your body is discharged into some grounding object, usually a table or computer case, so it doesn't discharge into a delicate device, causing it to fry.

Never ever use a grounding strap when working on anything that is powered!

If you use a grounding strap and make contact with anything that is potentially hazardous, you can, and more than likely will cause more damage to yourself than if you weren't using it. A grounding strap is generally connect to your arm, most of the people I have seen using them, put them on their secondary arm (right handed put it on their left, and vice-versa). Electricity just looks for the shortest path to ground, so if you touch something with your right hand, that could possibly just give you a little tingle, that electricity now has a path, right across your vital organs, including your heart, then through your left arm and into the ground that you are strapped to.

In my experience, it is better to never use a grounding strap at all, than it is to use one. You can discharge static electricity by just touching a metal section of a computer case, or a stereo device that still has the power cord connected. These devices have the power cord's ground, so your body's static has a safe path to ground. Plus, since you aren't moving much at all, once you discharge, you aren't going to build up much more static, unless you are dumb enough to be sliding around on carpet with socks on.

So to answer your question(s): No, It wouldn't overload the grounding strap, since that isn't even feasible, grounding straps have no circuitry or fuses in them to overload, it is just a wire; Yes, it would work for what its for, but that is NOT to "absorb the electricity". You would greaten your chance of the shock being fatal by doing so, but, if you are dumb enough to try this, then it wouldn't really be that much of a loss.

I apologize for invading your forum up front, but feel this is worth while and will only take 15 seconds away from a chat.


Give the Gift of Site

Please donate any used pair of prescription glasses to help both children and adults that cannot afford clear vision, to see for the first time.

Not asking for money, just one pair (or as many as you can find laying around ) to help people that cannot afford to see.

I will post pictures and stories from the Sonora, MX mission I will be on in September off site to show you what your contributions meant to the people in need.

Please send them to;

Luxottica Retail
Attn: Woody1
4000 Luxottica Place
Mason, OH 45040

I appreciate woot for allowing this to post, and the person with the most pairs sent in by Sept 12th, (nudge factor coming, and send them all together please, so they can be counted) will get a package worth over $500 including a new Home Toshiba DVD Recorder and Dell 5.1 speaker set. This comes out of my pocket; this is just one of many, and I do mean many, charities I try to support.

Binaural wrote:

That's cruel and unusual punishment!

Imagine if this guy lived next to you...
Now that would be cruel and unusual punishment!