This Too, Will Pass
Birdwatchers Journal: December 18th, 2009
Can you believe it? I certainly can’t. Today I submitted my findings to the North American Birdwatchers Society. After years – years! – of hard work, I thought I’d done it. I’d finally seen a new born phoenix. And that made me one of a handful of people in the ENTIRE WORLD to have ever done so, as well as the only person in the history of Fish Creek, Wisconsin to have achieved that noble feat. I was so proud to hand over my notebook to the Ornithological council. My dinner of beans and baked fish never tasted so good.
But then… intrigue! My rival, Bernard Olafson from Apple Valley, Minnesota, announced that he was challenging my findings! Why, you ask? Only for the shadiest of reasons! Ever the legalist, Olafson complained that I had already listed this phoenix when I observed it in 1984, as an adult. Can you imagine? The man hid behind the fact that there is only one phoenix at all times, and so I could not list the same bird twice!
Of course, his cronies on the council sided with him. But I swear, this is not over. For I will soon be contacting the World Birdwatcher League, as well as Amnesty International. Like the phoenix I have been fortunate to observe twice in my life, I will only rise stronger from adversity. And Bernard will not have the decorative pewter dinner plate that belongs to the winner of the St. Croix Birdwatcher League Champion for three years in a row. This… do I swear.
Wear this shirt: when you’re leveling up. Or when you’re winding down.
Don’t wear this shirt: to a *nix convention. It’s not really true open source and also the concept of rebirth might offend the BSD Daemon. He’s pretty strict about his dualistic cosmology.
This shirt tells the world: “Does this go in the blue bag or the clear bag?”
We call this color: I Like My Coffee The Way I Like My Charred Ashes Of Mythological Birds: Black And Hot.
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