A Rotten Prognosis

by walmazan

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

Cranberry
New
Limit 15 per customer
add to cart

Core, Blimey

3rd place in Derby #203: Red, with 753 votes!

“Doctor?”

“Oh, good, you’re here. Come in, Adams. I wanted to discuss your results in person.”

“Give it to me straight, Doc. I can take it. What is it? Alar?”

“No, it isn’t Alar. In fact…”

“Let me have it, Doc. Just give it to me straight. I was up all night Googling ‘Apple health concerns,’ but all I kept turning up was pages and pages of Mac fanboys speculating about Steve Jobs’s pancreas and liver.”

“Calm down, Adams. This news is going to come as a shock, and I want to make sure you understand our options.”

“Oh, no.”

“You see, I and my staff have reviewed all your tests—and it would appear you’re harboring Cydia pomonella.”

“Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. Wait. Is that—Doc, are you saying I’ve got The Worm?”

“We don’t like to use that term in the clinical setting, but… yes. You’re carrying a larval-stage codling moth.”

“Nooo! There was so much I wanted to do! I wanted to live! To explore! I wanted to go to school as a gift for the teacher!”

“I’m afraid that’s unlikely. Unless, of course, the teacher is not well liked.”

“Why? Why, oh, why, why?”

“Now, now. It’s not the absolute end of the line. But it does require a reassessment of what’s going to be realistically possible for you. I just want you to remain optimistic, OK? Why, if we move quickly to get the affected areas cut out, there’s no reason you couldn’t still serve society as part of a very nice pie, or a bit of cobbler.”

“NOOOOO!”

Wear this shirt: to your own x-ray procedure to find out how much lead is in our inks. (Hint: It’s zero lead.)

Don’t wear this shirt: to the farmer’s market. Their organic chicken didn’t get any antibiotics; there’s no way they’ll approve of an apple seeing an internist.

This shirt tells the world: “DEFEND OUR CORE VALUES

We call this color: CAT-Scan-Cranberry or, I dunno, maybe Cran-Apple is better

Back to top

Features

Pantone Colors:
Cool Gray 1C - Cool Gray 4C - 711C - 201C - 364C - 426C

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 41.000s
First Sucker:
Narfcake
Last Wooter to Woot:
pikaguardian

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 5% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 28% one year old
  • 61% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

10%
5%
5%
1%
2%
2%
2%
3%
5%
5%
5%
5%
4%
4%
5%
4%
3%
3%
3%
4%
4%
4%
6%
5%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

4%
1%
2%
2%
1%
1%
88%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (51 comments)
join the discussion (51 comments)
A Rotten Prognosis by walmazan
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.