Hey, Spike, it’s me, Shade. You’re comin’ over tonight, right? Awesome, awesome. Yeah, so far we’ve got me, you, Pepe, and the Dachshund quints. I can’t wait to take some kibble off of those little weenie-dogs. Nah, I didn’t call Mittens this time. I dunno, guy just rubs me the wrong way. My wife still gives me crap about that time he peed all over her favorite pile of blankets. Oh, hey, that’s my other line. I should take this – I think it’s Tiger. He asked if he could come to the game tonight, and I was like “Only if you’ll be my chair”, just kidding around. I think he might actually do it, though! Are cats dumb or what? Ha! OK, see you tonight. And remember, no chocolate this time, OK?

This shirt was designed by: Justin White, who also designed Killer Bees, and who also draws teachers from a 1976 yearbook. His pantheon of artistic heroes presumably includes C.M. Coolidge.

Wear this shirt: while you’re watching all the thrilling action of The World Series of Poker. It’ll be nice and comfy when you inevitably fall asleep from sheer tedium.

Don’t wear this shirt: and make anti-poker jokes to poker people. We’re already dodging clay chips over here.

This shirt tells the world: “The dog may be man’s best friend, but he’s a terrible bluffer.”

We call this color: Seven-Card Stud, Nickel Ante, Threes Wild, Cranberry Or Better To Open.

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