Second Place in Derby #39: Motion, with 891 votes!

Dear Joanna,
It has been too long since I have seen you. I wish I could tell you where we were, but the censors will not allow it. All I can say is that we are safe for now. I still have the ring you sent me, I keep it inside my uniform for now. I want to buy a chain and will the next time we get paid. Tomorrow we are making our assault on the pants. I know you have heard from some people how we should be tolerant about how they do not match the shirt but I want you to know that I think it is unforgivable. And anyway when we tried to appeal to the fashion police it did not work, and that made us look weak as a people. We had no other choice I feel. I am not scared, rather I am glad for the chance to serve what I believe in, so that future generations know not to wear white after Labor Day, even if it is supposedly just stonewashed. Seriously, that is not an excuse, and even if it was, stonewashing is out so it is just as bad. I hope you pray for me.
Your Love Always,
Jake

 

This shirt was designed by: sundbe10, who really would look more military style if he had dots between the letters of his name. Like Simulated Up-positioned Non Direct Battle Egress or something like that. It makes it look more “real”.

Wear this shirt: to the VFW, when you visit, to tell those old soldiers how proud you are of what they did for us. Don’t armchair quarterback if you can’t even point out the Hall of Fame on a map.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re in the Navy. Someone you work with will probably notice and then you’ll have to deal with the teasing for weeks.

This shirt tells the world: “Just like in real life, economic decisions determine where we send the shirt army next.”

We call this color: Where Do Generals Keep Olive Their Armies? In Their Sleevies!

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