Gentlemen, this afternoon, our peaceful Viking nature was taken advantage of by an ally

I speak, of course, of the horrible attack that came from the sea. No, not “by way of the sea”, I mean literally FROM the sea. It just stood up and started eating our boat. Yes, well, you can say it’s impossible all you like, guy who believes in a horse with eight legs, but the fact is, that’s our boat out there, getting eaten by a big dragon made of ocean. So if you want to go and explain things to the ocean, you can be my guest, but otherwise… yes, good, that’s what I thought.

So, men, are we going to take this? Are we going to let some crazy element tell us vikings what we can and can’t do? I say no, and so you all should as well! For we are the pillagers! We are the unstoppable force! That’s right, men! We’re going to defeat this water dragon once and for all! Gentlemen, grab your war straws! And on my command… ready… steady… now! Drink that hideous creature! Drink for all you’re worth!

Good lord, Jotengaard Wulfsun, don’t make such faces. It’s just a little salt. We’ll wash it down with some mead later and you won’t even taste it in the morning.

Wear this shirt: if you’re Grendel’s mother.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re not the sixth king.

This shirt tells the world: “Well, looks like we’ve got no choice now. Let’s just stay here and found Denmark.”

We call this color: Young Vikings Paint Themselves Baby Blue.

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