Dystopia Dark Lager

by Blair Sayer

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

Brown
New
Limit 15 per customer
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We Don’t Need Another Beer-o

A Whirlwind of Brewing, a Firestorm of Beer

Hey, beer fans; Max here. You know, besides gasoline and (I suppose) my own blood, there’s only one fluid I really can’t live without. That’s Dystopia Dark Lager. Nothing obliterates the psychic pain of horrific memories like ten or eleven Dystopias. And the flavor? Well, let’s not ruin a perfectly civil conversation by talking about that.

It’s a harsh world out there. We’ve all seen things we’d like to forget. In my case, multiple incidents of savage cruelty. In your case, maybe Waterworld. Dystopia rinses it all right out of your brain, quick as you can choke the stuff down! Take it from me: Once you’ve conditioned yourself to swallow a mouthful of Dystopia without involuntarily gagging, you’ll never drink another beer.

Maybe literally, since a mouthful of some of the bad batches exceeds the lethal dose.

Wear this shirt: to work at the pig-feces power plant. It’s brown, so the smears won’t show! They’ll stink, sure, but they won’t show.

Don’t wear this shirt: without leathers, unless you want road rash.

This shirt tells the world: “Given the choice between a frosty mug of Dystopia or sawing through my own ankle, I always take…

“Well, hang on, how big a mug are we talking about?”

We call this color: Bartertown Brown

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Features

Pantone Colors:
7499C - 7411C - 1807C- Cool Gray 5C - Black 4C

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 23.000s
First Sucker:
rlexm
Last Wooter to Woot:
pmsergi

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 4% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 31% one year old
  • 62% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

18%
6%
3%
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2%
3%
6%
9%
11%
9%
8%
7%
3%
1%
1%
1%
1%
1%
1%
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1%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

4%
6%
4%
77%
4%
2%
3%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

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Dystopia Dark Lager by Blair Sayer
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.