Well, I was minding my own business walking through the park on my lunch hour when he came up to me. He was just real aggressive right off the bat. I didn’t like the look of him. He came over while I was walking by and asked me for money. To get his mixing board repaired, he said, and he pointed to his chest. I said no, please leave me alone, and BAM, he knocked me right down onto the ground. Then he jumped on me and kind of – kind of pinned me down, pinned my arms down with his knees, and started going through my pockets. He found my wallet, looked in it, and he said to me, “Is this all you got? Loser.” Then he was up and gone, across that softball field and into those trees with my wallet. Even after all that, I can’t remember his face all that well. I was looking at his shirt – it was brown with all these dials and circles and wires on it, like the cockpit of a plane or something you’d see in a recording studio. You find that shirt, you found your man. I’d recognize it anywhere.

This shirt was designed by: multiple Derby-winner and commissionee Nick Seluk, whose name spelled backwards is a homophone for “cool skin.”

Wear this shirt: whether you’re into happy hardcore, Goa trance, or ghettotech. It’s democratic like that.

Don’t wear this shirt: when you go rolling innocent citizens for DJ-gear money. See how easily it identifies you to the police?

This shirt tells the world: “I got something you can remix right here.”

We call this color: He’s No Scott Brown.

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