Food For Thought

by patrickspens

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Old Herbert

2nd Place in Derby #359: Metamorphosis, with 229 votes!

Melser University's announcement of their graduation speaker - esteemed alumnus, Herbert Therman - was met with much discomfort.

Therman had, upon graduating himself, started a very successful company. They produced a special extra comfortable gel-grip that fit onto the handles of most lawn-mower's and weed-sacker's pull-cord starters. "You want to shred your lawn, not your palms," their ads said. 

After ten years of profitable business, he decided to sell, and with the money he made, he opened a theater where at-risk youth could take classes in acting and stage combat for free as long as they dedicated a couple hours each week to painting sets.

He also opened several nice restaurants and coffee shops in town, each of which showcased art by local artists, and donated nearly 6 million dollars to repairing the children's hospital when it was damaged in a flood.

So why were the faculty and students uncomfortable with having such an upstanding citizen as their speaker?

Because he'd been dead for nearly six years.

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Features

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X - M, WXL-WL: 14” x 5.4
S, WM-WS, K12 - K8: 11” x 4.2”
K6-K4: 9” x 3.4”

Pantone Colors:
7499c - 123c - 162c - 367c 

Features:

  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
2m 45.443s
First Sucker:
cflux
Last Wooter to Woot:
goblinygook

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 5% joined today
  • 0% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 9% one year old
  • 84% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 7% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

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Percentage of Sales Per Day

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Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

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Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

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Food For Thought by patrickspens
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
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4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.