2nd place in Derby #236: Fish Out of Water, with 860 votes!

“Ben, are you sure you can fly this?”

“C’mon, Reed, you know me. If it goes in the air, I can fly it. But how will we get past the guards?”

“Don’t you worry about that, my friend. I found a small hole in the lab, just enough to get our noses through. It won’t be hard for us to get past the locks. Just be aware we’ll have to cut corners on the pre-flight checks.”

“Aw, don’t you worry about that, Reed. I’ve had time to study this bird’s schematics. All I gotta do is fire up the main candle and we’re as good as there. But there’s somethin’ I don’t get.”

“What’s that, old friend?”

“You really think this aluminum can has enough shielding to protect us from the cosmic rays?”

“I’m sure it does, Ben. But just in case, let’s leave my fiancee and her little brother at home.”

Wear this shirt: when you’re trying something that very probably won’t pay off the way you’d hoped.

Don’t wear this shirt: while feeding your pet snake. It might be perfectly natural, but that doesn’t mean you’ve gotta relish it.

This shirt tells the world: “The same thing we do every ni- no, you know what? Tonight, let’s try a little lateral thinking.”

We call this color: Like Rats Fleeing A Sinking Navy Ship

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