Holy Guacamole!

by walmazan

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

Brown
New
Limit 15 per customer
add to cart

Cilantro? This Particular Recipe Don’t Call For No Stinking Cilantro

3rd place in Derby #147: Double-Take Derby Nine, with 592 votes!

When the sheriff and I finally arrived, the fight was over. The gruesome aftermath was like nothing I’d ever seen. The three avocados had been mashed into an almost unrecognizable pulp. Two jalapeño peppers were in there too, and they’d been minced up pretty good.

There was a clove of garlic that looked like he’d been put through a press. And a lime that’d gotten itself sliced clean in half. The juice from one half was squeezed out all over the place. A Roma tomato looked to have tried to come between the others and break it up, but only succeeded in getting hisself chopped to pieces.

A small white onion might’ve gotten the worst of it. He’d been quartered, can you believe that? Then one of the quarters was all minced up real fine.

I also saw a pinch of salt that I assume had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and got caught in the middle of it. And a teaspoon of olive oil. I still don’t know what that was doin’ there.

It was far too late to to help any of ‘em. They was done for, the whole gang. All there was left for the sheriff and me to do was fetch the corn chips.

Wear this shirt: as a base layer to keep your zarape from chafing your nipples.

Don’t wear this shirt: among the Aztecs, from whom we get the word “guacamole,” but to whom it means something like “testicle sauce.”

This shirt tells the world: “there’s a party in every bowl! If, by ‘party,’ you mean a brutal, knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred, bare-knuckles fight to the death.”

We call this color: Their Pulped Innards Had Gone Brown In The Desert Sun

Back to top

Features

Pantone Colors:
4535C - 4515C - 7413C- 391C - 378C - Black

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 37.000s
First Sucker:
dx316dd
Last Wooter to Woot:
mrarmyant

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 91% second woot
  • 9% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 6% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 26% one year old
  • 65% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 91% bought 1
  • 7% bought 2
  • 2% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

11%
4%
2%
2%
1%
2%
3%
3%
6%
5%
5%
5%
5%
4%
6%
5%
4%
3%
3%
3%
3%
4%
4%
4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

3%
7%
3%
2%
2%
2%
81%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (109 comments)
join the discussion (109 comments)
Holy Guacamole! by walmazan
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.