Mr. Bemplesworthy’s Office, Janet Speaking

Yes please, and whom shall I say is calling? Certainly, please hold.

Mr. Bemplesworthy, there’s a Mr. Giant Horrible Monster on line one for you. Shall I put him through? Yes, sir.

Yes, Mr. Giant Horrible Monster? Unfortunately Mr. Bemplesworthy is all tied up in a meeting right now. May I take down a message for him and have him return your call? Yes, sir. Yes, of course sir. All right. And how many Rs are there in “ARRRRUGHLAAARRGLARGLARG?” Eight, yes, that’s what I had. And is there a number at which you can be reached?

I’m sorry, no, I’m not certain when he’ll be available to the telephone, but I will pass the message along to him immediately. Yes, thank you for calling. Good-bye.

Mr. Bemplesworthy? Message from Mr. Giant Horrible Monster. He says thank you for the hat, which he received on Friday, and for which he is especially grateful because it’s difficult to find them in his size. And also ARRRRUGHLAAARRGLARGLARG. Which he assured me you would know what that refers to.

Yes sir. Thank you, sir.

Wear this shirt: to put yourself in a monstrous frame of mind before you do the telephone tango with customer service reps.

Don’t wear this shirt: to be, if you scare easy. Or if you sleep with someone who does.

This shirt tells the world: “Can You Fear Me Now?”

We call this color: Hello, Is Navy There? Hello, Is Navy There? Hello, Is Navy There? Hello, Is Navy There? Hello, Is Navy There? Hello, Is Navy There? Hello, Is Navy There? Hello, Is Navy There? Hello, Is Navy There? Hello, This Is Navy. Have There Been Any Calls For Me?

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