I’m So Sorry Elmer…

by jamescho84

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

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I tried to axe you politely

If the good lord hadn’t meant for us to chop up our friends and burn them for heat, he wouldn’t have made them out of wood.

3rd place in Derby #78: Winter , with 885 votes!

I’m sorry, Elmer. There’s only so much winter weather a fellow can take. I needed to get the ol’ sap running again, you know? I wish there had been another way. You know I looked up to you. I mean, you’ve stood by me for years. We even cooperated on that hammock project for a while. But I was always kind of in your shadow, you know? I mean, you have to admit there’s always been this distance between us. After all, real friends don’t give each other cut-downs, right? But I tell you, Elmer—I’m finally really warming up to you. I’ll think of you every time I hear the Boss’s song “I’m On Fire,” or Blue Oyster Cult’s “Burnin’ For You,” or that Jimi Hendrix one about “let me stand… next to your…”

Oh, no; what have I done?

Wear this shirt: to split firewood, preferably at our house, where there’s tons of firewood to split, and we’re kind of tired of doing it ourselves.

Don’t wear this shirt: without several other layers when you come over to split our firewood. It’s January, you know.

This shirt tells the world: “My favorite tree is ash.”

We call this color: White Oak.

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Features

Pantone Colors:
Cool Gray 11C - 715C

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 24.000s
First Sucker:
indihar
Last Wooter to Woot:
bronnoc

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 43% one year old
  • 41% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

15%
7%
4%
2%
2%
1%
1%
3%
4%
6%
5%
5%
5%
5%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
4%
4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

1%
1%
1%
0%
0%
1%
96%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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I’m So Sorry Elmer… by jamescho84
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.