At last, something to go with my bottomless cup of coffee.

But probably you shouldn’t think too hard about the math on this one. Like, if you start asking yourself where the holes in the center have gone, it opens up lots of puzzles about string theory and dark matter. Not to mention the issue of conservation of mass. Really, if you take out the center of infinity… what does it weigh? And if you have that, can’t you calculate infinity? And if you can calculate infinity, doesn’t that make it finite? So logically, isn’t a tenth of infinity also infinite? And if it is… where did the baker put them?

For that matter, what went into this doughnut? Sugar, flour, icing, did someone need an infinite supply of each to combine in a bowl that could hold three infinities??? This clearly posits a multiverse as well as a scale so far beyond the infinite that it is no longer possible to discuss it with anything resembling logic and numbers.

Plus, look! Sprinkles!

Wear this shirt: forever.

Don’t wear this shirt: inside out. It would put a terrible strain on the universe.

This shirt tells the world: “If 1/x approaches zero as x approaches infinity this thing is probably going to completely trash my diet.”

We call this color: The Legend Is That Doughnuts Began Because A Captain Wanted To Eat Dessert As He Steered The Ship So He Needed A Cake With A Hole In The Middle To Fit On The Spokes Of His Wheel, But Obviously We Haven’t Verified This With Any Official Historians From The Navy.

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