Koiler Theory

by Blaine Fontana

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price
Will not arrive before December 25th
Olive
New
Limit 15 per customer
add to cart

No Hablo, Man

Monolingualism in effect

Everyone’s seen kanji tattoos where the person thinks it says “strength” or something, but it turns out to actually say “goat cheese.”

Well, we double-checked these red characters, and we’re pretty confident they don’t mean anything. We consulted people who claimed to be able to read Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Russian, French, English and Pig Latin. Everyone said “no, that doesn’t mean anything. It’s probably just a design.” (But they all said it in their respective accents, like “eets pro-bob-lee chust a dee-zane,” or like that.)

Still, we have some lingering paranoia that it actually says, in some language foreign to us: “If you can read this, don’t tell me what it says, because I am a poopyface.”

Wear this shirt: and constantly wonder whether the proprietress at your favorite ethnic restaurant thinks you’re a poopyface.

Don’t wear this shirt: to a court appearance. Even if it doesn’t say anything at all about your being a poopyface, that’s a venue where you want to make a shirt-with-buttons kind of impression.

This shirt tells the world: “I may or may not be a poopyface. Probably not. But maybe.”

We call this color: jokey!

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Features

Pantone Colors:
White - 185C - 372C- 375C - 5763C - 350C Black

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 2.000s
First Sucker:
ohsnapjustin
Last Wooter to Woot:
caspers

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 3% one week old
  • 6% one month old
  • 40% one year old
  • 43% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 3% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

15%
6%
4%
2%
2%
2%
4%
5%
7%
6%
6%
5%
5%
4%
4%
3%
2%
3%
3%
2%
2%
2%
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4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

0%
0%
1%
97%
1%
1%
1%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (78 comments)
join the discussion (78 comments)
Koiler Theory by Blaine Fontana
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.