Lament of the Kiwi

by theinfinityloop

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

Kelly Green
New
Limit 15 per customer
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Hara-Kiwi

This is for getting all those seeds stuck in my teeth, you fuzzy little gooseberry.

1st place in Derby #81: Heartbreak, with 1233 votes!

Come gather ‘round, ye friends, shut up and listen to the ballad
Of the kiwi who got sliced in half and ended up fruit salad

Most folks are glad when kiwi fruits meet such a tasty end
But then again “most folks” are not this fruit’s sad, flightless friend

It just so happens this fruit had a pal, a kiwi bird
Who wept and gnashed her beak in anguished sorrow when she heard

“What happened?” cried the kiwi bird, “this fruit was like my sister!
What kind of savage maniac or madman could have squished her?”

The kiwi bird collapsed in grief and anger and confusion
Face-down in the juice, which, from her former chum was oozin’

And accidentally tasting her friend’s sweet delicious goo
Said “oh! If I’d have known, I s’pose I might have slashed her, too.”

Wear this shirt: to Tasmania! That’s where they call people “kiwis,” right?

Don’t wear this shirt: to any salad bar where you aren’t 100% sure what kind of kiwi’s on offer.

This shirt tells the world: “Fruit is murder.”

We call this color: Kiwi-Killer-Kelly Green.

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Features

Pantone Colors:
372C - 360C - 346C- 3435C - 479C - 4705C

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 8.000s
First Sucker:
aryd51
Last Wooter to Woot:
Segphalt

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 12% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 6% one month old
  • 38% one year old
  • 41% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

19%
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2%
2%
4%
6%
8%
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7%
6%
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6%
5%
2%
2%
1%
1%
1%
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1%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

5%
4%
5%
4%
74%
5%
4%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

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Lament of the Kiwi by theinfinityloop
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.