Socrates entered the forum, where a well-respected Sophist led a conversation on the virtues of funny t-shirts.

SOCRATES
Tell me, what is the topic of this conversation?

SOPHIST
Why, we are discussing Virtue, Socrates. Namely its nature and expression.

SOCRATES
Virtue? What a lofty topic! Tell me, what have you concluded? What is Virtue, and where can I find it?

SOPHIST
The answer is simple. Virtue is simply that which you see printed on my t-shirt.

SOCRATES
You mean this magic wand / loading screen shirt?

SOPHIST
The same.

SOCRATES
And tell me, what is it about this shirt that vaults it into that rarefied air we call Virtue?

SOPHIST
Because it contains the three pillars of excellence, Socrates. Comfort, Comedy, and Commonality.

SOCRATES
Three pillars of excellence! Forgive my ignorance, but I have never heard of them. And pray, why three and not more?

SOPHIST
That is simple, Socrates. Because three is the noblest of the numbers.

SOCRATES
Here I try to understand Virtue, and I have already learned about excellence and nobility. What a lucky student I am!

SOPHIST
Come on, man. It’s just a funny t-shirt. You don’t have to be so hard-assed.

Wear this shirt: under your toga to avoid chafing

Don’t wear this shirt: jogging near motorists who distrust magic

This shirt tells the world: “Get it? Get it? I SAID GET IT?!”

We call this color: Black magic woman

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