Oh, man, even the intern is laughing at you.

Dude, really. I don’t say this to be cruel, but you’ve got to shape up, okay? I mean, they’re talking about you in the boardroom, and not in a good way.

Look at yourself. Your shirt’s unbuttoned, you’ve got that tie just hanging there like you were in a fight with a whale or something, and what’s that? Is that a spear in your pocket? Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter to me if you stay out all night with Captain Nemo and his friends, but I’ll tell you what does matter, it does matter that I’ve got reports to finish, and if you don’t have your graphs done, I can’t get my data to the V.P. at the weekly meeting. And when he asks me what the problem is, do you think I’m going to take one for the team or something? Because I gotta say, right now, you’re the weakest link, if you follow me.

It’d be one thing if this was a once-in-a-blue-moon thing, but this is every day! Every freaking day! I mean, maybe take a personal inventory or something, you know? Are you just sabotaging yourself? Is this the job you even want to do?

Oh, sorry, I should introduce myself. My name’s Marty, it’s my first day here. Good to meet you.

Wear this shirt: under a dark and distinguished button-down, vest and suit coat.

Don’t wear this shirt: unless you’re making a krilling. Shirts are for closers.

This shirt tells the world: “If you’re going to get in the company ink at least don’t make it so obvious.”

We call this color: Hey, Isn’t That Kelly Green Over There? The One You Have A Crush On? Sure Must Be Embarrassing, Huh? Knowing She’s Seeing You Like This?

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