Other Uses for Candy Corn

by MJ

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

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Advice For The Glucose Impaired

Happy Hallowoot! Watch for our freshly-carved pumpkin badge on special seasonal shirts!

There’s no candy quite like candy corn, is there? Chocolate bars, peppermints, even those terrible sour ten cent peanut butter things, none of them have the lure of candy corn. And why? What’s the magic that makes us try a bite every year?

It’s because we forget, because that’s how our brains our made. Each year, the candy corn shows up, and we think “Oh! It’s been so long!” and we buy a bag and take and bite and think “Oh! I forgot how horrible it is!” and then we throw the rest of it out and over the next 364 days some new information comes in and overwrites the old. The names of the latest Transformers? Your own personal ranking of the best Adventure Time episodes? 4th edition spell tables? BOOM! Goodbye, the taste of candy corn. See you next year, when we go through the whole routine again.

So instead of this endless loop, consider breaking the chain of pain and using that candy corn for good. Let this shirt hang in your closet as a reminder: candy corn is an excellent tool that can help humanity… as long as you don’t actually plan to eat it.

Sort of like plutonium, really.

Wear this shirt: around the children of your over-protective family members, and watch them freak out. “That has a picture of candy corn in an ear and a nose! That shirt’s very dangerous! I don’t want that in my house!” Doesn’t ever stop being funny.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you actually plan to hide the good candy under your loose candy corn. It’ll give the plan away. Unless… have you ever heard of a double bluff?

This shirt tells the world: “Why ISN’T there candy cornbread? Oh, right, because it would suck.”

We call this color: Silver Bullets Still Aren’t As Hard As Stale Candy Corn

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Features

Pantone Colors:
White - 3945C - 1375C - 422C - Black

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
2m 5.000s
First Sucker:
music2video
Last Wooter to Woot:
fitnessfool

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 88% second woot
  • 12% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 23% one year old
  • 65% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 88% bought 1
  • 10% bought 2
  • 2% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

8%
3%
1%
1%
1%
2%
5%
6%
8%
7%
7%
4%
6%
5%
4%
3%
3%
3%
4%
4%
3%
5%
5%
3%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

2%
87%
5%
2%
2%
1%
1%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Other Uses for Candy Corn by MJ
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.