Take only what you need to survive

OK guys, this is going to be a long backpacking trip and we won’t be anywhere near civilization, so we have to be prepared for everything. Carl: you packed the compass and maps, right? Excellent. Who has the lightweight water filtration system? Thanks Jen. I can’t stress enough how important it is to get rid of anything unnecessarily heavy. Those pounds add up quickly, and thirty miles into the trail you’re going to kick yourself for bringing that big heavy sweater.

All right, Yalde Iswund, let’s check out your pack. Hmmm, OK. There are a few red flags that pop out here. For starters, I’m sure you think you need that Daedric Warhammer of Malediction, but you’ll probably be surprised how easily you can do without it. But just a suggestion, no need to get angry.

Now, for food I usually recommend lightweight, dehydrated meal packets. I see that you packed…some Horker Meat…and Seared Slaughterfish. Those sound delicious, but are maybe not ideal. You don’t have to drop them carelessly on the ground, but OK.

I see that you brought an integrated hydration system, Yalde. That’s a great way to carry water, as it takes up a minimum amount of space and lets you – wait, is that Alto Wine? Yalde, buddy, you can’t take that. Annnnnd there it goes onto the floor. Okie dokie.

Anybody have any pre-existing health problems before we start? Any problems with ankles, backs, or knees? Oh God, Yalde, that’s horrific. I’m so sorry.

Wear this shirt: Under banded iron armor to avoid chafing

Don’t wear this shirt: In the Crabber’s Shanty (crash bug)

This shirt tells the world: “I could stand to lose a few feather-units of weight”

We call this color: Black crash screen

Back to top