3rd place in Derby #240: Take THAT, Ninja!, with 715 votes!

We first noticed that we’d gone off course when we tried to drop the anchor, and it didn’t drop at all, just floated there next to the ship. It was at that point that we really started to take notice of our surroundings – not so much ocean, actually not much of anything at all.

Nobody really knows how we got there, not even Captain. We’d raided a merchant ship about a month prior and taken nearly a dozen barrels of rum, so most days went by in a haze. But when that thing happened with the anchor, well, we all sobered up real fast.

Now, we’ve been sailing out here for nearly a week, although “sailing” doesn’t seem to be an apt word, considering there’s no wind at all to propel us forward. We mostly just float, but not in the traditional way that a ship floats.

We didn’t see anything at all until that big planet appeared in the distance a couple days ago. Some of us were happy; not that it held much promise, but it was something. Others didn’t share in the cheer; they pointed to its molten orange surface and said that’s not the kind of place we want to go.

But you see, what we want really has nothing to do with it. Because she’s got us now and she’s pulling us in real strong.

Wear this shirt: because some people call you the space pirate.

Don’t wear this shirt: if your shivering your timbers. It’s a short sleeve shirt; it won’t keep you warm.

This shirt tells the world: “Come sail-a-way, come sail-a-way, come sail away with me.”

We call this color: Black beard. Oh what, you wanted something more clever?

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