2nd place in Derby #59: At The Luau, with 569 votes!

As marks of status and esteem, traditional Hawaiian tattoos used geometrical and natural forms to describe an individual’s role in society. The more prominent in the hierarchy one was, the more extensive and intricate one’s tattoos. So chiefs and their families would endure long, painful hours at the hands of the most skilled tattooists, pricking their noble skins over and over with crude needles made from bird claws or fish bones.

Thanks to this shirt, you can wear the same kind of design with none of the pain! Oooh, look at you, you’re a chief now! Ain’t consumerism grand?

This shirt was designed by: Derby contestant OpenDesign, who, despite his name, is not desktop publishing software from 1991.

Wear this shirt: if you’re the kind of person who knows the proper pronunciation of “ukulele”. And who doesn’t hesitate to let everyone know about it.

Don’t wear this shirt: while you’re swimming. No matter what you look like under it, your shame looks worse.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m not your Grandpa’s Hawaiian shirt.”

We call this color: Grass Skirt.

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