Secret of the Sharpener

by bennydougs

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

Baby Blue
New
Limit 15 per customer
add to cart

The Dixon Ticonderoga Chainsaw Massacre

2nd place in Derby #140: Things That Start With the Letter S, with 800 votes!

I loved being a lumberjack, but I hate the outdoors. So this pencil-sharpener gig is like the best of both worlds for me. I still get to do a lot of chainsawing. I still get to wear the hat and the shirt and the suspenders. But I get to do it all in a cramped room, knee-deep in sawdust, under a sickly yellow lightbulb. Paradise. You got anything you need sharpened? Please?

Wear this shirt: when you hang around in bars. Just be sure to order a women’s size.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re afraid of lead poisoning. Because if you’re an adult and you still think pencil “lead” can give you lead poisoning, we’d rather not have you wearing our shirts.

This shirt tells the world: “I’d rather be one of the tiny actors inside the TV, but it’s a living.”

We call this color: Something About Baby Blue And Pencils, Or Maybe Chainsaws, Whatever, It’s Quitting Time And I’ve Been Writing These Cutesy Puns All Day

Back to top

Features

Pantone Colors:
7499C - 127C - 7521C- 7531C - 1545C - 646C

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 17.000s
First Sucker:
Fritooo
Last Wooter to Woot:
sarahmittleman

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 33% one year old
  • 53% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12%
5%
3%
2%
1%
1%
2%
4%
4%
5%
5%
5%
5%
5%
4%
4%
3%
4%
4%
4%
5%
5%
4%
4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

2%
1%
1%
1%
1%
1%
92%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (72 comments)
join the discussion (72 comments)
Secret of the Sharpener by bennydougs
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.