Oh, we wish that you were all hot dogs with mustard
That is what we’d like you all to be
But since you can’t all be hot dogs with mustard
The least that you can do is buy this tee

Yes, we wish that you were all hot dogs with mustard
Plump and juicy, steaming hot and fresh
‘Cause if you all were hot weenies with mustard
It wouldn’t be a crime to eat your flesh

Wear this shirt: a picnickin’ in the park.

Don’t wear this shirt: to the inaugural meeting of your school’s Vegetarian Club. No one’s going to believe these are soy dogs.

This shirt tells the world: “Put some mustard on it!”

We call this color: Grass-Fed

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