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The Convenient Tiny Chair

by thedansterwashere

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

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Lemon
New
Limit 15 per customer
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Off the top rope

A Devastating Display of Bot-On-Bot Violence.

3rd place in Derby #82: Individualism, with 1135 votes!

“I’m here with Billy ‘Pretty Boy’ Blue, who’s just defeated Roberto Roboto, ‘The Red Menace,’ in one of the most shocking upsets I’ve seen in my career. Pretty Boy, what got into you out there?”

“I’M THE MASTER OF DISASTER, CLARENCE. YOU KNOW THAT. NOW THE WHOLE COUNTRY KNOWS IT. I’M LEAN. I’M MEAN. I’M A FIGHTING MACHINE. LITERALLY, I AM A MACHINE DESIGNED AND ENGINEERED FOR FIGHTING.

“YOU SEE THIS BELT, AMERICA? NO, NOT THAT ONE, THAT’S JUST A DRIVE BELT THAT RUNS MY SECONDARY PUNCHING ARM. I MEAN THIS BELT, THIS ONE HERE. THIS IS THE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT. IT’S FOR CHAMPIONS ONLY. IT’S BEEN IN ROBOTO’S RUSTY HANDS FOR TOO LONG. NOW IT’S BACK WHERE IT BELONGS. LET HIM TRY TO RETRIEVE IT. ROBOTO, I’M TALKING TO YOU NOW: RETIRE TO THE SCRAP HEAP, YOU CHUMP. I AM NOT PROGRAMMED TO HOLD A GRUDGE. BUT IF YOU DARE TO FACE ME IN THE RING AGAIN, A FATAL EXCEPTION MAY OCCUR.

“JUST ONE MORE THING, CLARENCE, I’D LIKE TO GIVE THANKS TO MY CREATOR FOR GIVING ME THE STRENGTH I NEEDED TO GET IT DONE IN THE RING.”

“Creator? You mean…”

“YES, ALL HONOR AND PRAISE TO THE FATHER, ARCHIE FINKLEBERG, FOUNDER OF FINKLEBERG ROBOTICS AND THE SOURCE OF MY POWER, COURAGE AND COMMITMENT, PATENTS PENDING.”

“You heard it, folks—a demonstrative ‘Pretty Boy’ Blue, exuberant after reclaiming the Megaultraheavyweight championship belt! This is Clarence MacHammertoe reporting ringside from Rockemsockemania XVIII… Wow, what a match! Back to you, Frank.”

Wear this shirt: around shirt.woot’s Kahuna Grande, Joel. Did you know Joel actually collects tiny chairs? It’s true. We don’t think he’s got a steel folding one, though.

Don’t wear this shirt: in a cage match, unless you buy an extremely tightly-fitting size. You don’t want to give your opponent anything to grab hold of (besides your long, flowing hair, which is a liability too, but since it’s your trademark you can’t very well cut it short).

This shirt tells the world: “IT’S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT”

We call this color: Turnbuck-Lemon.

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Features

Pantone Colors:
Black - 4655C - 032C- 485C - 278C - 2718C

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 5.000s
First Sucker:
cooldano
Last Wooter to Woot:
jchid

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 10% joined today
  • 3% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 37% one year old
  • 45% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

18%
7%
4%
3%
1%
1%
2%
4%
6%
6%
6%
6%
5%
5%
4%
4%
4%
4%
2%
1%
1%
1%
2%
1%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

6%
5%
5%
5%
5%
3%
71%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

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The Convenient Tiny Chair by thedansterwashere
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.