The Guardian

by sokowa

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

Black
New
Limit 15 per customer
add to cart

Grrrrrr

3rd place in Derby #130: Nightmares, with 688 votes!

“So. Lord Deadlyslime. We meet again.”

“Ah, Professor Squishypaws. I should have expected you, I suppose. When did we last meet? Shanghai? Dubai?”

“Richmond, I believe. 1986. The Cheapo-Lodge off Highway 95.”

“Ah, yes. You were on vacation. I was in the dresser beside the television. How’s the family? Still sleeping well?””

“Evenly and well protected, Lord Deadlyslime. Did you notice that Marion has grown up? I belong to her daughter now. And I keep her safe, just as I once kept her mother safe.”

“Mmm. Well. I admit, tonight’s likely not my night. But I see your paw is beginning to tear, and your belly, though still disgustingly adorably fat and huggable, is showing wear and tear. Perhaps you’ll protect Marion’s daughter, but one day, her granddaughter will be mine.”

“Oh, that reminds me, we went to the toy store last week. Lord Deadlyslime, meet our new intern, Bunny Cuddleclaws.”

HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HIIIIIIII

“He seems so… hyper.”

“Yes, Lord Deadlyslime. He’s young, you see. But don’t you worry. He’ll grow up soon, and be around for a long time.”

“Mmm. Well, perhaps I’ll be off. There’s a Fangoria convention down the street that might be hiring. I’m thinking it might be time to look into a new line of work. Until we meet again, Professor Squishypaws.”

“Until then, Lord Deadlyslime. Until then.”

Wear this shirt: to bed. An extra layer of protection can’t hurt.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re actually a monster, unless you’re in some sort of monster punk band and trying to make a statement.

This shirt tells the world: “You’ll scare off more monsters with honey breath than you will with vinegar breath.”

We call this color: Black Bear-y

Back to top

Features

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 3.000s
First Sucker:
rcmaniac10
Last Wooter to Woot:
thinkingoutsidethebox

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 9% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 37% one year old
  • 50% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

14%
5%
4%
3%
2%
2%
2%
2%
4%
4%
5%
5%
5%
5%
4%
3%
3%
3%
4%
3%
4%
4%
4%
5%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

5%
3%
3%
3%
3%
2%
81%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (81 comments)
The Guardian by sokowa
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.