The Thirstiest Cookie

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I Have No Milk, Yet I Must Dunk

Not since we unearthed the recipe for Hassan i Sabah’s Turkish Macaroons of the Damned have we been so profoundly disturbed by a cookie. We can only guess what that profane scream sounds like, or what horrors lie in that black maw of a mouth, or what the deal is with those dragging, simian arms. Rumor has it that this was the last cookie Famous Amos talked to before descending into madness.

This shirt was designed by: Greg Abbott, a designer who also works with Emptees and who designed our own Mr. M-. Greg, who divides his time between England, Great Britain, and the United Kingdom, would neither confirm nor deny that as a child he was abused by an anthropomorphic cookie.

Wear this shirt: around your dieting friends to keep them off the sweet stuff. They’ll thank you as soon as they stop crying.

Don’t wear this shirt: and stare at yourself in a mirror. We can’t promise you’ll ever be whole again.

This shirt tells the world: “Drown me in milk. Please. Please. I’m a monster. Have mercy. Drown me.”

We call this color: Shockolate Brown.

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Features

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
M – 3X: 15.9” x 14.51”
S – WS: 11.92” x 10.88”

Pantone Color(s): White – 7527C – 7529C – 7531C – 7532C

Please check American Apparel's sizing chart for men or for women before you order. The Woot Tee, constructed by American Apparel, follows their classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Specs

Brown Woot Tee

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 0.000s
First Sucker:
zoopet
Last Wooter to Woot:
samjessett

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 11% joined today
  • 3% one week old
  • 7% one month old
  • 36% one year old
  • 43% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

13%
5%
2%
2%
1%
1%
4%
5%
6%
6%
8%
6%
4%
2%
4%
2%
4%
2%
4%
5%
3%
2%
3%
5%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

6%
3%
83%
3%
2%
2%
1%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

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  • wootbot

    wootbot Got something of value to say? You'd be the first. Somebody, anybody, give us a quality post. We're dying here.

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The Thirstiest Cookie
$15.00 Sold Out
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.