Theory of the Robot Voice

by ndikol

$11.00$14.00

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  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 19 - Dec 22
  • Two-Day - Estimated delivery Dec 15
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Fan Speaking Basics

Man-to-fan interactions may seem simple, but there is actually quite a bit to take into consideration. For example…

When speaking into a fan, your voice will come out the other end sounding much like a robot. Because of this you are required to a) speak about topics that are particularly robotic for maximum believability, or b) speak about topics that are particularly human for maximum irony.

When speaking as a fan, make sure to expel 97% more air then usual and speak in a constant monotone voice. This will make it easier for the person you are speaking with to shut his or her eyes and imagine you as a fan.

When speaking with a fan, always take into to consideration cultural differences. Something that may seem universally unpleasant to you, may, to a fan, be a great source of happiness or pride. Starting the conversation by discussing something like how spinning makes you nauseous or how you hate when it’s windy outside is a surefire way to get off on the wrong foot.

When speaking down to a fan, make sure to call it a whirly-gigger-majigger or a brainless-air-thruster. Fans hate being called that!

Wear this shirt: to protest against blade-less fans.

Don’t wear this shirt: into the past; there’s a lot to explain before they’ll even have enough information to MAYBE get the joke.

This shirt tells the world: “LalalaLuuukkkee… Luuuuuukkkkeeee. I am your faaaaatherrrrrr.”

We call this color: slate noise; like white noise but tougher.

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Features

Pantone Colors:
White - Cool Grey 1C - 427C - 422C - Pantone Black 3C

Standard Brand:

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

American Apparel:

  • Slimmer fit (if you like a looser fit, order one size up from your usual size)
  • Fiber Content: 4.3 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
2m 42.000s
First Sucker:
psydotek
Last Wooter to Woot:
afallingleaf

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 4% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 28% one year old
  • 62% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 3% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

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Percentage of Sales Per Day

88%
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Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Theory of the Robot Voice by ndikol
$11.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$11.00 $14.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.