They’re Watching

by dreadwood

$15.00
$18.00 17% off List Price

Printed to order.

Ships in 3-5 business days

White
New
Limit 15 per customer
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They’re shocked, SHOCKED

1st place in Derby #201: Double-Take Derby 13, with 673 votes!

Everywhere I turn, there they are, staring, wearing stunned expressions of mute horror. They know the terrible things I’ve done. They watched it all.

I have my family fooled. My coworkers don’t know my awful secrets. How could they? They’re barely conscious, more like domesticated beasts than men, stumbling through the world distracted, with one eye always on their smartphones, blind to the possibility that evil shares their elevator, that death lunches alongside them, that cruelty manages a team in their fantasy football league.

They don’t see me. Not really. They only see the mask. It deceives them because they are simple.

They’re hopeless. They’re deluded. Their heads are so far up their own butts, they can’t smell the fetid stench of sin. They’ll never discover me, no matter how close they get. They’re like ostriches. With their heads in the sand.

So there’s sand up their butts, I guess. It must be very uncomfortable for them, the grittiness of that, when they walk.

But then there are the outlets.

Look at them, peering at me from every wall, peeking out from under desks, peering slyly from behind bookshelves, their blank eyes fixed on me. They know my guilt. Curse their unblinking gaze! Now at last I understand what it must have been like for Rockwell!

But I know what to do. They’ll be sorry they ever stared at me in silent judgment! I’ll close their gawking eyes, all of them! Why, I’ll take this fork, and I’ll—

ZZZZT

Wear this shirt: for a real current, alternative look.

Don’t wear this shirt: in Europe, unless you have the right adaptors.

This shirt tells the world: “I can’t come out tonight, I’M GROUNDED.”

We call this color: The Neutral Slot Is On The Left; The Hot Slot Is On The White

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Features

Pantone Colors:
Black

Features:
• Fiber Content: 4.5 oz 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton
• Manufactured In: Honduras/Nicaragua
• Printed In Carrollton, Texas, USA
• These shirts are printed to order. That means most of the time, we'll be printing using DTG technology

Sizing Chart:
Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 10.000s
First Sucker:
narikdh
Last Wooter to Woot:
mikDadio

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 22% one year old
  • 69% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

9%
4%
2%
2%
1%
2%
4%
6%
7%
6%
6%
5%
4%
9%
4%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
4%
3%
3%
3%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

5%
8%
3%
6%
70%
4%
4%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting
They’re Watching by dreadwood
$15.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$15.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.